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Recently some students need to arrive at school early in the morning. Some people think that starting school day early is a good approach to support learning, while others think it should be a better idea for students to attend school at a later time. Wha v.1

Recently some students need to arrive at school early in the morning. Some people think that starting school day early is a good approach to support learning, while others think it should be a better idea for students to attend school at a later time. Wha v. 1
The key to success for any country is the government which runs it. Many state officials believe that financial progression is the key to a prosperous state. While, a part of the society thinks there are other sectors that are equally important. This essay will discuss both aspects of this argument and emphasize why focusing on other sectors is equally prominent. Officials believe that, for any ministry, financial stability is crucial. All over the world, governments work on various projects to enhance their exports as well as to minimize their imports in order to stabilize their economies. In Pakistan, for example, custom duties have recently been increased, to discourage the import of automobiles as it is devaluing the nation’s currency. So to say, higher the nation’s economy, higher will be its currency. Despite the focus of officials towards nation’s economy, there are more sections which need to be looked at. First of all, the education system is the backbone of any country and by investing in schooling sector, literacy rate will increase, which thereby contribute to the nation’s growth. For example, the government of Bangladesh heavily invested in its schooling system, as a result, 70% of its population are now literate. Secondly, healthcare department needs to be focused on. The ministries need to spend money on health care for its citizens. In India, for instance, lack of local hospitals is rendering the patients vulnerable to deaths. Hence, education and health sector must also be among the main goals of the officials. In conclusion, for a country to prosper, the government needs to work sincere towards its people. This essay discussed why economics of a state are important, but why working for health and education is also equally important. In my opinion, I firmly believe that literacy and well-being should be among the topmost priorities for any authority.
The key to success for any country is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
which runs it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
state officials believe that financial progression is the key to a prosperous state.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, a part of the society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
there are other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
that are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. This essay will discuss both aspects of this argument and emphasize why focusing on other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
is
equally
prominent.

Officials believe that, for any ministry, financial stability is crucial. All over the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
work on various projects to enhance their exports
as well
as to minimize their imports in order to stabilize their economies. In Pakistan,
for example
, custom duties have recently
been increased
, to discourage the import of automobiles as it is devaluing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation’s
currency.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
to say, higher the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation’s
economy, higher will be its currency.

Despite the focus of officials towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation’s
economy, there are more sections which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be looked
at.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the education system is the backbone of any country and by investing in schooling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, literacy rate will increase, which thereby contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation’s
growth.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of Bangladesh
heavily
invested in its schooling system,
as a result
, 70% of its population are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
literate.
Secondly
, healthcare department
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be focused
on. The ministries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to spend money on health care for its citizens. In India,
for instance
, lack of local hospitals is rendering the patients vulnerable to deaths.
Hence
, education and health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
be among the main goals of the officials.

In conclusion
, for a country to prosper, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to work sincere towards its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This essay discussed why economics of a state are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why working for health and education is
also
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. In my opinion, I
firmly
believe that literacy and well-being should be among the topmost priorities for any authority.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Recently some students need to arrive at school early in the morning. Some people think that starting school day early is a good approach to support learning, while others think it should be a better idea for students to attend school at a later time. Wha v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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