Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Recently published figures show that the wildlife population around the world has decreased by around fifty per cent over the last fifty years. What can we do to help protect the wildlife round the world? v.1

Recently published figures show that the wildlife population around the world has decreased by around fifty per cent over the last fifty years. What can we do to help protect the wildlife round the world? v. 1
There is no doubt that human beings have taken over the earth from wild animals for a long time. And according to some recent studies that the number of wild creatures has dramatically declined during a few decades. “what should we do” and “what can we do” become a question for everyone. This essay will discuss the cause of this problem and some effective measures that can be taken by us to tackle this problem. Land for growing food would be considered one of the prominent reasons. Although there have been immense advances in technology in most aspects of people’s lives, the lack of food is still a massive problem for some countries such as China, India. People who live in these countries will turn the forest where nearby them into a ground that can plant corn, rice, and beans to survive. Then the animals will lose their home and even be killed when they have conflicts with the locals. For this, everyone should raise the awareness that food is precious and “don’t waste food” is not only a moral slogan but also a very efficient way to protect the environment. The less food we waste, the fewer lands will be destroyed. Another reason for the topic will be pollution. Plastic bags, bottles, and industry disposals are abandoned into the river, ocean greatly. Sea creatures, such as turtles, whale, will eat or inhale then occasionally. Furthermore, because of the greenhouse effect globally, the temperature of the ocean raised at a high rate of speed which is leading to the corals died slowly within 20 years. Once the corals become extinct, it will bring about a chain reaction to all of the sea animals. The government should take out specific and strict laws to stop the pollution get worse and ban those companies which not qualified to dispose of their garbage. In conclusion, I believe that the solutions are more than the problems eventually. As long as we are taking action from now, one day, the amount of wildlife will recover.
There is no doubt that human beings have taken over the earth from wild animals for a long time. And according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recent studies that the number of wild creatures has
dramatically
declined during a few decades. “
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
what
should we do” and “what can we do” become a question for everyone. This essay will discuss the cause of this problem and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effective measures that can
be taken
by us to tackle this problem.

Land for growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
would
be considered
one of the prominent reasons. Although there have been immense advances in technology in most aspects of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
still
a massive problem for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries such as China, India.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in these countries will turn the forest where nearby them into a ground that can plant corn, rice, and beans to survive. Then the animals will lose their home and even
be killed
when they have conflicts with the locals. For this, everyone should raise the awareness that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is precious and “don’t waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food”
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a moral slogan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
efficient way to protect the environment. The less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
we waste, the fewer lands will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
.

Another reason for the topic will be pollution. Plastic bags, bottles, and industry disposals
are abandoned
into the river, ocean
greatly
. Sea creatures, such as turtles, whale, will eat or inhale then
occasionally
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the greenhouse effect globally, the temperature of the ocean raised at a high rate of speed which is leading to the corals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
slowly
within 20 years. Once the corals become extinct, it will bring about a chain reaction to
Consider using "all the".
all of the
sea animals. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take out specific and strict laws to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the pollution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
worse and ban those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which not qualified to dispose of their garbage.

In conclusion
, I believe that the solutions are more than the problems
eventually
. As long as we are taking action from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, one day, the amount of wildlife will recover.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Recently published figures show that the wildlife population around the world has decreased by around fifty per cent over the last fifty years. What can we do to help protect the wildlife round the world? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts