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Recently, people are becoming less and less polite. What are the reasons for this behaviour? Do you agree with the statement? Give examples and experience. v.1

Recently, people are becoming less and less polite. What are the reasons for this behaviour? Give examples and experience. v. 1
As of right now, there is a continued rise in the overall population of the world, and it might be considered as the greatest issue faced by the society. There are multiple reasons for this, one of the most important one being that, there is not much of awareness in a considerable amount of individuals. In this essay, the causes of this situation and why it is, to a great extent, the greatest problem faced by everyone on this planet, in the present times, will be discussed. This continued rise in population leads to a lot of problems. The majority of the masses are not aware of the consequences that our future generations are going to face in the future due to this problem. Moreover, even though there are people who do know about this situation, some of them do not care as, they think that it isn't their problem because they are not the ones facing the consequences. The ones that come from a poor background, some of them, might want more children as they would like to have a large family, so that they can earn more money as a family. It can be argued that the increasing population is the greatest problem, presently, faced by the majority of us. Firstly, there are many problems that are stemming from the increasing population, for example, all kinds of pollution, traffic congestion and many others. Furthermore, due to an extremely large population, not everyone can gain quality education, in fact, only a small percentage of people have that luxury, and due to this, most of the young people are either unemployed or have to settle for a minimum wage. Therefore, it is, indirectly, the cause of extreme poverty, especially in countries that have an extremely large population, for instance, countries like India. In conclusion, the major cause of this issue is the lack of awareness amongst the people, and it is, arguably, the biggest problem faced by the human race at the present times as it results in most of the other major problems faced, for instance, air pollution, water pollution, traffic and so on. Hence, I do agree that, it is the greatest issue faced by us.
As of right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, there is a continued rise in the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the world, and it might
be considered
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greatest
issue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faced
by the society. There are multiple reasons for this, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one being that, there is not much of awareness in a considerable amount of individuals. In this essay, the causes of this situation and why it is, to a great extent, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faced
by everyone on this planet, in the present times, will
be discussed
.

This continued rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. The majority of the masses are not aware of the consequences that our future generations are going to face in the future due to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Moreover
,
even though
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do know about this situation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them do not care as, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it isn't their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
facing the consequences. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from a poor background,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them, might want more children as they would like to have a large family,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can earn more money as a family.

It can
be argued
that the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
presently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faced
by the majority of us.
Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that are stemming from the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
,
for example
, all kinds of pollution, traffic congestion and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others.
Furthermore
, due to an
extremely
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, not everyone can gain quality education, in fact,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have that luxury, and due to this, most of the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are either unemployed or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
settle for a minimum wage.
Therefore
, it is,
indirectly
, the cause of extreme poverty,
especially
in countries that have an
extremely
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
,
for instance
, countries like India.

In conclusion
, the major cause of this issue is the lack of awareness amongst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and it is,
arguably
, the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faced
by the human race at the present times as it results in most of the other major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faced
,
for instance
, air pollution, water pollution, traffic and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Hence
, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that, it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greatest
issue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
faced
by us.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Recently, people are becoming less and less polite. What are the reasons for this behaviour? Give examples and experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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