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Young people these days tend to be less polite and respectful than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for that? What can be done to solve this issue? v.5

Young people these days tend to be less polite and respectful than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for that? What can be done to solve this issue? v. 5
Many studies show that new generation is discourteous and disrespectful than that of previous generations. Rationales are many folds. This essay delves into the reasons for this attitude and suggesting some remedies. Undeniably, in the past younger people were more polite and respectful to the elderly people and to the society. For instance, in Indian culture, it was very common for young people to always respect the elderly people but nowadays this behaviour has almost vanished. Globalisation, the influence of foreign cultures and sense of individuality are some main reasons for this paradigm shift. The cultural exchange between the nations are rapid and that gives the young generation a sense that they are not obliged to respect others. The impact of western culture has destroyed the traditions in many countries and this is another reason for the less polite behaviour among the youth. Secondly, with the advancement of technology people are busy with the social media, foreign music and movies. For example, the younger generation is not only engaged with their mobile gadgets but also spend less time socialising and as a result, they have less time for others. Furthermore, moral values of the new generation are declining as the educational process has changed rapidly. Teachers and parents no longer spend time teaching children about moralities and obligation to societies. However, it is necessary to tackle this issue from childhood by proper parental guidance and by proper education. The family is the first school and parents are the best teachers. So they can shape the behaviour of their offspring from the very early stage. Continuous usages of technological devices such as mobile phones or computers should be restricted. In addition school curricular should also give priority to the moral aspects of students and should include counselling and guidance classes in their curriculum. Furthermore, social media should also broadcast the programs portraying the importance of good character and moralities. In conclusion, it is an undeniable fact that today's generation is lacking respect and politeness in their behaviour.   To some extent, this is due to the advancement of technology and influence of social media and foreign cultures. Teacher and parents’ lack of proper guidance can also be attributed to this shift. Proper education, controlled use of technology, socialising, family bonding, and better parenting are the most important aspects to address this pressing issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that new generation is discourteous and
Use "(disrespectful)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
disrespectful
than that of previous generations. Rationales are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
folds. This essay delves into the reasons for this attitude and suggesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
remedies.

Undeniably
, in the past younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were more polite and respectful to the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and to the society.
For instance
, in Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to always respect the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
has almost vanished.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Globalisation' is British English.
Globalisation
, the influence of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and sense of individuality are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
main reasons for this paradigm shift. The cultural exchange between the nations are rapid and that gives the young generation a sense that they are not obliged to respect others. The impact of western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the traditions in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries and this is another reason for the less polite
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
among the youth.
Secondly
, with the advancement of technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy with the social media, foreign music and movies.
For example
, the younger generation is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
engaged with their mobile gadgets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
spend less time
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
and
as a result
, they have less time for others.
Furthermore
, moral values of the new generation are declining as the educational process has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
rapidly
. Teachers and parents no longer spend time teaching children about moralities and obligation to societies.

However
, it is necessary to tackle this issue from childhood by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
parental guidance and by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
education. The family is the
first
school and parents are the best teachers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they can shape the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of their offspring from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early stage. Continuous usages of technological devices such as mobile phones or computers should
be restricted
. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
school curricular should
also
give priority to the moral aspects of students and should include counselling and guidance classes in their curriculum.
Furthermore
, social media should
also
broadcast the programs portraying the importance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
character and moralities.

In conclusion
, it is an undeniable fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's generation is lacking respect and politeness in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, this is due to the advancement of technology and influence of social media and foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. Teacher and parents’ lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
guidance can
also
be attributed
to this shift.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Proper
education, controlled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology,
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
, family bonding, and better parenting are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects to address this pressing issue.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Young people these days tend to be less polite and respectful than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for that? What can be done to solve this issue? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
392 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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