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Recently, many people know a few of their neighbours. What is the cause of this problem? What can be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and any example from your own experience. v.1

Recently, many people know a few of their neighbours. What is the cause of this problem? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 1
Modern world has become so gadget based that every room is now a house and people barely know their next door people. Because of the up-gradation of the communication facility the world has become smaller and people can connect with other people easily. However, this facility has made people less emotional and less communicative to their neighbor. Neighbor are the first support to the people when they face some kind of problem. The society is created in such a way where every person needs others help in order to survive. In the past decade people used to visit the next door people to see if they are doing fine or else. But the mode of communication has changed a lot in such a way where people do not know their next door people but know a person from thousands of mile distance. Firstly the main cause behind this problem is relying too much on the internet based communication. There is also another reason which is gadget and software based socialization. For instance, recently I have faced an acute problem regarding an electric problem of my house. However, for that problem my Wifi signal has turned down and the charge of my phone has gone. Having no other way I needed to find help from my neighbor. I was so fortunate that my neighbors helped me. This lesson has changed my life’s perspective. Now I do think that communication with real world or face to face communication is much important in life. In conclusion, it can be said that creating relationships with next door people is as much essential as knowing online friends.
Modern world has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
gadget based that every room is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
barely
know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
door
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the up-gradation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
facility the world has become smaller and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can connect with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
.
However
, this facility has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
less emotional and less communicative to their neighbor.

Neighbor are the
first
support to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when they face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. The society
is created
in such a way where every person needs others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in order to survive. In the past decade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
door
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
if they are doing fine or else.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot in such a way where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
door
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
know a person from thousands of mile distance.
Firstly
the main cause behind this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is relying too much on the internet based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. There is
also
another reason which is gadget and software based socialization.
For instance
, recently I have faced an acute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
regarding an electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
However
, for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
my
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
Wifi
signal has turned down and the charge of my phone has gone. Having no other way I needed to find
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from my neighbor. I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
fortunate that my neighbors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me. This lesson has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my life’s perspective.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
with real world or face to face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in life.

In conclusion
, it can
be said
that creating relationships with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
door
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
as much essential as knowing online friends.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Recently, many people know a few of their neighbours. What is the cause of this problem? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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