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28. 09. 2017New neighbours have recently moved into the house/flat next door to where you live. You have examinations soon, but your neighbours play music late at night which is affecting your studies and sleep. Write a letter to your neighbours. In your let v.1

28. 09. 2017New neighbours have recently moved into the house/flat next door to where you live. You have examinations soon, but your neighbours play music late at night which is affecting your studies and sleep. Write a letter to your neighbours. In your let v. 1
Today, lots of people prefer to study at universities and colleges with different purposes. Some people think that higher education should provide knowledge and experiences about workplaces, while others discuss that the lessons’ content does not have to be related to work. Universities should support students by providing knowledge both which can be used in a professional life and which is for personal development. Universities should be the best place to gain experience about the related work field. After graduation, students mostly look for a job in order to meet their main expanses. If universities provide students with the knowledge and skills which they can use in work field, therefore they can easily start their career with high salary to satisfy their own personal requirements and their family’s necessities. For instance, according to a research was conducted in Turkey, graduating from a high-quality university with well-qualified make student wanted for job field. Besides, universities should give not only technical information, but also provide students with lectures about general culture and development. It is a significant factor to improve graduates’ personality at the university. When students graduate with good communication skills and well-socialised, they can be successful at the interviews which companies do. Also, they can learn how to manage a conversation with others. Thus, students who have just graduated from the university can manage their professional and personal lives easily. The Times, for example, recently stated that the employment is increasing in the countries which have universities provide useful knowledge to work. To conclude, it is a hotly debated issue that whether universities should give information about work for better employment or they should be free to what to teach students. It is important to give both work related lectures and lessons which based on cultural improvement in order to enable students to complete their whole personal and professional development. For this reason, universities had better not to give unnecessary information to the graduates who want to earn their life in terms of every aspect.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and colleges with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that higher education should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and experiences about workplaces, while others discuss that the lessons’ content does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
should support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
both which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in a professional life and which is for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
development.

Universities should be the best place to gain experience about the related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
field. After graduation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
mostly
look for a job in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their main expanses. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
field,
therefore
they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their career with high salary to satisfy their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
requirements and their family’s necessities.
For instance
, according to
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
was conducted
in Turkey, graduating from a high-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
with well-qualified
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
wanted for job field.

Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
technical information,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with lectures about general culture and development. It is a significant factor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
graduates’ personality at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
graduate with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
well-socialised
, they can be successful at the interviews which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
do.
Also
, they can learn how to manage a conversation with others.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
graduated from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can manage their professional and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easily
. The Times,
for example
, recently stated that the employment is increasing in the countries which have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to work.

To conclude
, it is a
hotly
debated issue that whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for better
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
employment or
they should be free to what to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
related lectures and lessons which based on cultural improvement in order to enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to complete their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
and professional development.
For this reason
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
had better not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
unnecessary information to the graduates who want to earn their life in terms of every aspect.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 28. 09. 2017New neighbours have recently moved into the house/flat next door to where you live. You have examinations soon, but your neighbours play music late at night which is affecting your studies and sleep. Write a letter to your neighbours. In your let v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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