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Recently, genetically modified food has become a new solution to agriculture productivity. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages v.2

Recently, genetically modified food has become a new solution to agriculture productivity. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages v. 2
In recent years, the term “genetically modified food” has become a controversial topic as its benefits for both food producers and consumers are companied by potential biomedical risks and environmental side effects. In my opinion, the consequences people may suffer from this kind of food can overshadow its merits. On one hand, it is understandable that genetically modified food is crucial to the food supply, especially in the stage of climate change. In particular, farmers may produce more and earn more profits on each crop they harvest thanks to the new strains of plants which can boost the productivity, combat against some common diseases, and adapt well to the changes of the environment. For example, in the southern areas of Vietnam where the lands are facing salt intrusion, many agricultural scientists have developed a rice variety that can withstand saltwater without reducing the amount of output. Therefore, regions considered as a granary of the world could maintain the growth rate in order to contribute to global food security. However, there are demerits that could not be ignored as it directly affects humans’ health and the environment. First of all, there are pieces of evidence linking the symptoms of food allergies in not only young children to the period of time their parents have been exposed to the genetically modified food before giving birth but also the adults who consume this food regularly. This is partly because the mutated genes cause some unexpected reaction in the human body that does not naturally trigger if they are the original ones. Secondly, the whole ecosystem could be damaged since there are some unintentionally hybridized species may evolve and invade the living areas of the local flora. These species, to some extents, are the result of cross-breeding between genetically modified plants and others in nature. Finally, there are ideas raising awareness of a tiny possibility that humans genes could be changed, leading to abnormal behaviors as well as congenital malformation. In conclusion, although the genetically modified food brings a number of benefits to humans, it is still the culprit of some diseases and reckoned to be relevant to the extinction of several species resulting in the imbalance of the ecosystem.
In recent years, the term “
genetically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food”
has become a controversial topic as its benefits for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
producers and consumers are
Possible spelling mistake found.
companied
by potential biomedical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and environmental side effects. In my opinion, the consequences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may suffer from this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can overshadow its merits.

On one hand, it is understandable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is crucial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
supply,
especially
in the stage of climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
In particular
, farmers may produce more and earn more profits on each crop they harvest thanks to the new strains of plants which can boost the productivity, combat against
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
common diseases, and adapt well to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of the environment.
For example
, in the southern areas of Vietnam where the lands are facing salt intrusion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
agricultural scientists have developed a rice variety that can withstand saltwater without reducing the amount of output.
Therefore
, regions considered as a granary of the world could maintain the growth rate in order to contribute to global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
security.

However
, there are demerits that could not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
as it
directly
affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans’
health and the environment.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are pieces of evidence linking the symptoms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
allergies in not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
young children to the period of time their parents have
been exposed
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving birth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the adults who consume this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
regularly
. This is partly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the mutated genes cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unexpected reaction in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
body that does not
naturally
trigger if they are the original ones.
Secondly
, the whole ecosystem could
be damaged
since there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unintentionally
hybridized species may evolve and invade the living areas of the local flora. These species, to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extents, are the result of cross-breeding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modified
plants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
in nature.
Finally
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
raising awareness of a tiny possibility that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
genes could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, leading to abnormal behaviors
as well
as congenital malformation.

In conclusion
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
brings a number of benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, it is
still
the culprit of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases and reckoned to be relevant to the extinction of several species resulting in the imbalance of the ecosystem.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Recently, genetically modified food has become a new solution to agriculture productivity. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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