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Some parents think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some parents think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. v. 2
People opinions differ as to whether preschool children should be taken care by childcare centers or old members of the family such as grandparents. In my opinion, the children could receive benefits from both ways of looking after them. On one hand, the services offered by many kindergartens are highly convenient and modern. The parents can fully commit to their work without worrying about their children, hence boosting productivity. In this day and age, all educational services are examined regularly in order to maintain the highest standard. The teachers, for instance, are trained carefully prior to officially taking the job and they will be inspected several times each year by the education councils. Besides, letting children interact with the outside world at the early ages can create huge and important impacts on their development because not only does it help to interact with peers that could become long-standing friendships but also stimulate creativity. On the other hand, grandparents and other family members can also be good caregivers. They are the older people who have a great amount of experience in tackling daily problems; therefore, all the issues raised by the children could be addressed easily. Furthermore, if the parents decide to leave their children to grandparents, they can save money, especially the poor family which does not have a wealthy background. Not only that, parents may reap rewards for great performance and punctuality when they do not need to take children to school and pick them up which constitute quite lots of their time. In conclusion, I believe that the merits of both methods of taking care of children at early ages are equal.
People
opinions differ
as to whether
preschool
children
should
be taken
care by childcare centers or
old
members of the family such as grandparents. In my opinion, the
children
could receive benefits from both ways of looking after them.

On one hand, the services offered by
many
kindergartens are
highly
convenient and modern. The parents can
fully
commit to their work without worrying about their
children
,
hence
boosting productivity. In this day and age, all educational services
are examined
regularly
in order to maintain the highest standard. The teachers,
for instance
,
are trained
carefully
prior to
officially
taking the
job and
they will
be inspected
several times each year by the education councils.
Besides
, letting
children
interact with the outside world at the early ages can create huge and
important
impacts on their development
because
not
only
does it
help
to interact with peers that could become long-standing friendships
but
also
stimulate creativity.

On the other hand
, grandparents and other family members can
also
be
good
caregivers. They are the older
people
who have a great amount of experience in tackling daily problems;
therefore
, all the issues raised by the
children
could
be addressed
easily
.
Furthermore
, if the parents decide to
leave
their
children
to grandparents, they can save money,
especially
the poor family which does not have a wealthy background. Not
only
that, parents may reap rewards for great performance and punctuality when they do not need to take
children
to school and pick them up which constitute quite lots of their time.

In conclusion
, I believe that the merits of both methods of taking care of
children
at early ages are equal.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some parents think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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