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Recent surveys show increased interest in relocation and travel to other countries. What may be the reasons for this trend, and what will be the possible outcome from this behaviour? v.7

Recent surveys show increased interest in relocation and travel to other countries. What may be the reasons for this trend, and what will be the possible outcome from this behaviour? v. 7
The growing trend among people to relocate to other countries has become a matter of discussion for many. I believe there are several possible reasons behind this change. In this essay, I shall outline the causes for this development and analyse the consequences that this will have on everyone. To start with, there are numerous predominant factors, which are contributing towards this tendency. Firstly, modern technology has allowed the air travel to become more comfortable than ever before. This ease is one of the main reasons behind this increasing number of the people relocating. Secondly, many people choose to travel to another country in search of better employment opportunities. For example, a recent study conducted at the Stanford University, showed that 55% of college students are interested in seeking jobs in other countries. Lastly, a large number of the public living in underdeveloped countries, constantly travel to developed countries for vacations, as they are attracted by the living standards at these places. However, there are a number of effects that this change is bringing to the world. It negatively affects the economy of the country. For example, in search of better career options, if a very high portion of the young population leaves their own country, this could result into the shortage of skilled workers. Furthermore, this increase in travel is also responsible for the growing number of air traffic, which in turn increases the amount of pollution levels in the atmosphere. In conclusion, this is a topic which raises many questions in contemporary life. From the given arguments and examples, it is clear that the impact of this trend is on a global scale. In the future, we could expect to see an even higher figure of the people travelling abroad, which could prove to be both a good and the bad news for the society.
The growing trend among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to relocate to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has become a matter of discussion for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. I believe there are several possible reasons behind this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. In this essay, I shall outline the causes for this development and
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the consequences that this will have on everyone.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are numerous predominant factors, which are contributing towards this tendency.
Firstly
, modern technology has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
the air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to become more comfortable than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
is one of the main reasons behind this increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relocating.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in search of better employment opportunities.
For example
, a recent study conducted at the Stanford University,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 55% of college students
are interested
in seeking jobs in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Lastly
, a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of the public living in underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
constantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for vacations, as they
are attracted
by the living standards at these places.

However
, there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of effects that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is bringing to the world. It
negatively
affects the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, in search of better career options, if a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high portion of the young population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, this could result into the shortage of skilled workers.
Furthermore
, this increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is
also
responsible for the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of air traffic, which in turn increases the amount of pollution levels in the atmosphere.

In conclusion
, this is a topic which raises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions in contemporary life. From the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
arguments and examples, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the impact of this trend is on a global scale. In the future, we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an even higher figure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelling abroad, which could prove to be both a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
news for the society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Recent surveys show increased interest in relocation and travel to other countries. What may be the reasons for this trend, and what will be the possible outcome from this behaviour? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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