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Recent surveys show increased interest in relocation and travel to other countries. What may be the reasons for this trend, and what will be the possible outcome from this behavior? Provide examples for your opinion. v.1

Recent surveys show increased interest in relocation and travel to other countries. What may be the reasons for this trend, and what will be the possible outcome from this behavior? Provide examples for your opinion. v. 1
It is believed that the travelling and the relocating rate of people is higher than ever, while this higher of journey effect of the behaviour. The following essay will be examined the factors which affect the situation and several opinions on the outcome from this behaviour. Numerous studies have consistently found that there are various reasons why travelling activities have increased significantly in the past recent years. Firstly, travellers intensively due to the existence of low-cost airlines. It is a fact that airlines companies such as Air Asia or Nok Air are providing affordable and economic tickets, therefore, people from various incomes could purchase it. Secondly, many companies have increased their overseas projects due to the globalization. As a result of this, their employees have to do excessive business trips to other continents or other peninsulas. Thirdly, as business competition gets more tension each day, the stress levels of the workers have risen. Consequently, the number of who travelling and relocate activities have climbed dramatically in the past few years. In my opinions, from this travel and relocate behaviour, it leads to another outcome, they will have the chance to learn a new culture. For instance, many Thais have visited India, then they explored the ancient culture and the various types of food among the parts of countries. Travelling also helps people to decreasing their stress. Most of people who live in the metropolis have more chance to get stress higher than those who don’t, taking to trip will help them to unwind. To sum up, it is true that many reasons lead to the higher rate of travel and relocation. The low fare of tickets, business trips and stress are the main reasons of this situation, however, many people get benefits from these activities.
It
is believed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
and the relocating rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is higher than ever, while this higher of journey effect of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. The following essay will
be examined
the factors which affect the situation and several opinions on the outcome from this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

Numerous studies have
consistently
found that there are various reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
activities have increased
significantly
in the past recent years.
Firstly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
intensively
due to the existence of low-cost airlines. It is a fact that airlines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
such as Air Asia or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nok
Air are providing affordable and economic tickets,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various incomes could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have increased their overseas projects due to the globalization.
As a result
of this, their employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do excessive business trips to other continents or other peninsulas.
Thirdly
, as business competition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
more tension each day, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
levels of the workers have risen.
Consequently
, the number of who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
and relocate activities have climbed
dramatically
in the past few years.

In my opinions, from this travel and relocate
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, it leads to another outcome, they will have the chance to learn a new culture.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Thais have visited India, then they explored the ancient culture and the various types of food among the parts of countries.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to decreasing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. Most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the metropolis have more chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
higher than those who don’t, taking to trip will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to unwind.

To sum up, it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons lead to the higher rate of travel and relocation. The low fare of tickets, business trips and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
are the main reasons of this situation,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefits from these activities.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Recent surveys show increased interest in relocation and travel to other countries. What may be the reasons for this trend, and what will be the possible outcome from this behavior? Provide examples for your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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