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Reading for pleasure can develop imagination and language skills better than watching TV. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Reading for pleasure can develop imagination and language skills better than watching TV. v. 2
It is argued by some that reading during leisure time can improve the imagination and the skill to use a language better than watching the television. In my opinion, picking up a book for fun can help the individual to think and use language more effectively. One of the reasons why reading is better than watching a TV set is that the mind imagines objects the eyes cannot directly see. In other words, as one reads a novel, the brain automatically creates pictures for the reader, using the written words in the book, unlike the television which displays images in front of the viewer. For example, University of Michigan conducted a test between two groups of students; one was to read a storybook and the other was to watch a movie. The first group reported that they were able to recollect objects better than the second group. This shows that reading creates a vivid image better than watching a TV programme. A good reason why reading is more important to people than watching a film is that it enhances the linguistic skill of people. This is because reading deals with letters written on a paper, and language as a whole is all about words. As a result, going through certain words on a book helps one to be able to identify and use such words later on. My little cousin, for instance, after being introduced to reading, began speaking and writing in English at the age of four. Thus, reading any written material increases the chances of communicating more effectively. In conclusion, reading helps humans to think and communicate better than watching TV shows. If children can be made to read a lot, then there will be a world filled with creative thinkers.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
during leisure time can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the imagination and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than watching the television. In my opinion, picking up a book for fun can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the individual to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
language more
effectively
.

One of the reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than watching a TV set is that the mind imagines objects the eyes cannot
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.
In other words
, as one reads a novel, the brain
automatically
creates pictures for the reader, using the written words in the book, unlike the television which displays images in front of the viewer.
For example
, University of Michigan conducted a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
between two groups of students; one was to read a storybook and the other was to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a movie. The
first
group reported that they were able to recollect objects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than the second group. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
creates a vivid image
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than watching a TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
than watching a film is that it enhances the linguistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
deals with letters written on a paper, and language as a whole is all about words.
As a result
, going through certain words on a book
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
one to be able to identify and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
such words later on. My
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
cousin,
for instance
, after
being introduced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, began speaking and writing in English at the age of four.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
any written material increases the chances of communicating more
effectively
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
humans to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and communicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than watching TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
. If children can
be made
to read a lot, then there will be a world filled with creative thinkers.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Reading for pleasure can develop imagination and language skills better than watching TV. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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