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In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constricting new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.2

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constricting new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 2
The national expenditure on transportation is an area of heavy debate. While some people are of the opinion that more funds should be channelled towards building better rail tracks, so as to facilitate faster journeys between major cities, others are of the opinion that, strengthening the older systems will be more beneficial. In my opinion, it is vital to renovate the existing transport system. We will discuss both these views, in this essay. Super fast trains ease the travel load in big cities, by providing faster journeys and covering long distances, which are otherwise implausible. In other words, a quality infrastructure for swift electric trains can help reduce the burden on other modes of transport, in major towns. For example, the introduction of electric trains in Japan, cut down the dependence on other modes of transport by a half, also providing quicker access to important zones in the city. Besides, this will reduce the pollution caused by vehicle emissions, as well. Though, it can be a valuable investment, it necessitates massive funding and can serve only a proportion of people. On the other hand, many others are of the view that the funds should rather be used for renovation of the existing facilities. Unlike the super fast railways, these public systems cater to diverse sections of the society. Thus, these improvements are more basic than the urban railway projects. For instance, the developing world is largely dependent on its rural communities. In India, almost three-quarters of the population reside in the rural areas, thereby, increasing the dependence on the less sophisticated modalities of travel. Hence, it is vital to devote funds for the improvement of these existing systems. In conclusion, though opinions vary regarding the expenditure on the national transportation infrastructure, I think it is extremely crucial to improve the existing travel networks, before the attention is shifted towards building better rail tracks to suit super fast trains. Plans for express trains should be reserved for the future.
The national expenditure on transportation is an area of heavy debate. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
that more funds should
be channelled
towards building better rail
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
,
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
facilitate faster journeys between major cities, others are of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
that, strengthening the older systems will be more beneficial. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, it is vital to renovate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
transport system. We will discuss both these views, in this essay.

Super
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the travel load in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities, by providing faster journeys and covering long distances, which are
otherwise
implausible. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, a quality infrastructure for swift electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
modes of transport, in major towns.
For example
, the introduction of electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
in Japan,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the dependence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
modes of transport by a half,
also
providing quicker access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
zones in the city.
Besides
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pollution caused by vehicle emissions,
as well
. Though, it can be a valuable investment, it necessitates massive funding and can serve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others are of the view that the funds should
rather
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for renovation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
facilities. Unlike the super
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
railways, these public systems cater to diverse sections of the society.
Thus
, these improvements are more basic than the urban railway projects.
For instance
, the developing world is
largely
dependent on its rural communities. In India, almost three-quarters of the population reside in the rural areas, thereby, increasing the dependence on the less sophisticated modalities of travel.
Hence
, it is vital to devote funds for the improvement of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
systems.

In conclusion
, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
vary regarding the expenditure on the national transportation infrastructure, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
extremely
crucial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
travel networks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the attention
is shifted
towards building better rail
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
to suit super
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
. Plans for express
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
should
be reserved
for the future.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constricting new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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