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Reading for pleasure can develop imagination and language skills better than watching TV. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Reading for pleasure can develop imagination and language skills better than watching TV. v. 1
Many people derive pleasures from different series of activities. It is argued by some people that studying at ones leisure time can progress imaginative thinking and phonetic skills rather than watching television programs. In my opinion, I agree with this statement, because this helps improve mental development as well as learn new vocabularies. Firstly, reading a book for fun can help grow a strong imiginative and language skills as it sharpens the readers mental state. In other words, books such as articles, novels, magazines, and journals improves the sharpness of the brain as it is constantly engaged in educative activities. Since this activity is one that involves imagination of events, thus, the chances of creating pictorial visuals in the mind is high. For instance, the readers association in Lagos state wrote the best writeup on mental health challenges in 2018. Consequently, this fun book reading process aids an effective mental development of the brain. Another point to consider is that this also helps learn new words and vocabularies. The skill of langauge is greatly improved when a book is read, such that unfamiliar words are checked in the dictionary which increases self confidence when speaking. For example, many people that enjoy reading always have a beautiful command of languages which includes both spoken and written. Thus, many modern and up to date word formation are learnt when reading for pleasure. In conclusion, free time reading assist in imaginative and langauge skills better than viewing the television because this improves mental health and help acquire more structures of language.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
derive pleasures from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
series of activities. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that studying at ones leisure time can progress imaginative thinking and phonetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
rather
than watching television programs. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
development
as well
as learn new vocabularies.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
for fun can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
grow a strong
Possible spelling mistake found.
imiginative
and language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as it sharpens the readers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
state.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
such as articles, novels, magazines, and journals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the sharpness of the brain as it is
constantly
engaged in educative activities. Since this activity is one that involves imagination of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
,
thus
, the chances of creating pictorial visuals in the mind is high.
For instance
, the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "readers'" or "reader's"?
readers
association in Lagos state wrote the best
Possible spelling mistake found.
writeup
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health challenges in 2018.
Consequently
, this fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
process aids an effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
development of the brain.

Another point to consider is that this
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
learn new words and vocabularies. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
langauge
is
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is read
, such that unfamiliar words are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
in the dictionary which increases
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
when speaking.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
always have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
command of languages which includes both spoken and written.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modern and up to date
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
word
formation are
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
for pleasure.

In conclusion
, free time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
assist in imaginative and
Possible spelling mistake found.
langauge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
better than viewing the television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
acquire more structures of language.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Reading for pleasure can develop imagination and language skills better than watching TV. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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