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Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.11

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. v. 11
It is an ongoing debate on the allocation of the transportation budget by the authorities. Many intellectuals opine that the regime should raise their funding for the railway system, instead of roads. I strongly agree with the above notion and the supporting arguments are discussed further. To begin with, the railway system is used as a major mode of transit by people in all over the globe. If offers not only safety and time saving, but also reduces the traffic conjunctions on the roads. Consequently, the improvement of this backbone of the public transport will uplift the standards of living of the local population, as well as mitigate the need of the broader roads. For example, in the developed countries, the metro-trains are the lifeline of mega cities, which provides a mass transit without utilising excessive fossil fuels. Thus, the modern railways are an essential element of the developed society. Furthermore, the transportation time saving will be a key factor for the people. This factor would boost up the productivity and spread prosperity to the domestic region. Momentarily, there are many areas in which people are using roads to transit with traffic issues can be replace by railways. Although, the capital cost of the railway network is high, it will be a lucrative option in the long term. For instance, the developing countries are nowadays putting more emphasis on the dream railway projects to elevate their economy. Therefore, the investment in railways results into the growing economy. In conclusion, the railway network plays a vital role in the enhancement of human lives in a sustainable way. I agree that the regime should promote the railways by fiscal support to minimise the issues of traffic conjunctions and pollution.
It is an ongoing debate on the allocation of the transportation budget by the authorities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
intellectuals opine that the regime should raise their funding for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
system,
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above notion and the supporting arguments
are discussed
further
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
system is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a major mode of transit by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in all over the globe. If offers not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
safety and time saving,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the traffic conjunctions on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
Consequently
, the improvement of this backbone of the public transport will uplift the standards of living of the local population,
as well
as mitigate the need of the broader
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
For example
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, the metro-trains are the lifeline of mega cities, which provides a mass transit without
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
excessive fossil fuels.
Thus
, the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
are an essential element of the developed society.

Furthermore
, the transportation time saving will be a key factor for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This factor would boost up the productivity and spread prosperity to the domestic region.
Momentarily
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
to transit with traffic issues can be
Consider using the past participle "replaced"?
replace
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
. Although, the capital cost of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
network is high, it will be a lucrative option in the long term.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
are nowadays putting more emphasis on the dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
projects to elevate their economy.
Therefore
, the investment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
results into the growing economy.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
network plays a vital role in the enhancement of human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
Consider replacing "in a sustainable way" with the adverb for "sustainable"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a sustainable way
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the regime should promote the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
by fiscal support to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the issues of traffic conjunctions and pollution.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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