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construct roads or subway lines to mitigate traffic congestion? v.1

construct roads or subway lines to mitigate traffic congestion? v. 1
There are divergent opinions revolving around the way on how to improve road safety. There are those who believe that strict punishments for driving offences will be necessary while others argue that a great deal of feasible solutions can be taken to tackle this issue. I, however, hold a strong belief that the combination of both ideas will bring many effective results. It is irrefutable that strict regulations imposed by the governments will play an important role in mitigating the shipment accidents which have been on the rise in recent years. In the first place, when stern penalties are introduced by the authorities, it may make commuters feel afraid of severe consequences of gridlock law violations. For example, in some developed countries, every citizen will be charged up to 1000 dollars or even sentenced to prison if they run the red light or exceed the speed limit. Hence, these transportation laws can discourage them from breaking the rules. Another positive side is that some of strict punishments imposed on driving offenders will make a huge contribution to the state budget. Thereby, the governments can utilize a massive amount of money paid by people disobeying the influx rules to invest in some underdeveloped infrastructures for the sake of creating better transit system. On the other hand, strict penalties would not effectively affect people in some situations, so other potential measures which the government and the general public should take them into consideration. Firstly, with the ever-increasing technological advancements, the local authorities can take advantage of social networking sites to raise individual's ' awareness of the importance of abiding by movement regulations. By this way, people will become more conscious about the devastating consequences which freight accidents cause. Last but not least, there should be more transit signs to help drivers stay alert about obstacles on the road. Additionally, some speeding test cameras should also be established to deter commuters from exceeding limits. In conclusion, although severe legislations are essential to alleviate the shipment accidents, I still firmly think that if governments could combine these strict punishments with other effective methods, this situation will be no longer a vexing problem for everyone.
There are divergent opinions revolving around the way on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
road safety. There are those who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
punishments for driving
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
will be necessary while others argue that a great deal of feasible solutions can
be taken
to tackle this issue. I,
however
, hold a strong belief that the combination of both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
effective results.

It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
regulations imposed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
will play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in mitigating the shipment accidents which have been on the rise in recent years. In the
first
place, when stern penalties
are introduced
by the authorities, it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
commuters feel afraid of severe consequences of gridlock law violations.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, every citizen will
be charged
up to 1000 dollars or even sentenced to prison if they run the red light or exceed the speed limit.
Hence
, these transportation laws can discourage them from breaking the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
punishments imposed on driving offenders will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a huge contribution to the state budget. Thereby, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can utilize a massive amount of money paid by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
disobeying the influx
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to invest in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
underdeveloped infrastructures for the sake of creating better transit system.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
penalties would not
effectively
affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
potential measures which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and the
Consider using "public".
general public
should take them into consideration.
Firstly
, with the ever-increasing technological advancements, the local authorities can take advantage of social networking sites to raise individual's
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
'
awareness of the importance of abiding by movement regulations. By this way,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will become more conscious about the devastating consequences which freight accidents cause. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, there should be more transit signs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
drivers stay alert about obstacles on the road.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
speeding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
cameras should
also
be established
to deter commuters from exceeding limits.

In conclusion
, although severe
Possible spelling mistake found.
legislations
are essential to alleviate the shipment accidents, I
still
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
could combine these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
punishments with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
effective methods, this situation will be no longer a vexing problem for everyone.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay construct roads or subway lines to mitigate traffic congestion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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