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Rapid technological change has shaped the world we live in today. Far from having a positive influence, living in the high-tech world dependent on computers and mobile devices has distracted us from what is really important in life. v.1

Rapid technological change has shaped the world we live in today. Far from having a positive influence, living in the high-tech world dependent on computers and mobile devices has distracted us from what is really important in life. v. 1
No one can deny that the technology has become an integral part of our daily lives. Aside from all beneficial applications that we have living in, this fast moving world dependent on computers and mobile phones has distracted us from what is really worth in life. I completely agree with this statement because of both the family as well as health concerns. On the one hand, there is no doubt that the new technology offers new possibilities in all workplaces; for example, it increases productivity and also saves much of time, people now can work in real time, they do not have to wait to return to their offices to update records or to make a note, instead they directly access their emails and doing whatever they need even if they are at home. On the other hand, many people although they agree on that it makes our life easier, it also complicates our relationships with families and the general public. For instance, no one now is ready to spend time and money to reach relatives in their homes, they just satisfied by texting them messages or calling the, this result in a big gap between young adult and their parents and grandparents, this may be due to the fact that children spend most of their time online studying or enjoying social websites and older people find this a little boring so both have nothing to share. In this way, we can see clearly how technology affects our relationships adversely. Moreover, technology also has a detrimental effect on our health and fitness, best example would be the young children who now find activities too easy by playing sport on screens, what is more, it makes us forget useful skills for example, fewer people are able to do mental arithmetic than in the past so traditional skills are being undermined. A case in point is many of these skills are in danger of dying out completely. To conclude, technology is a great invention as long as we use it in a balanced way not allowing it to ruin our relationships or missing the true joy of life.
No one can deny that the
technology
has become an integral part of our daily
lives
. Aside from all beneficial applications that we have living in, this
fast
moving world dependent on computers and mobile phones has distracted us from what is
really
worth in life. I completely
agree
with this statement
because
of both the family
as well as
health concerns.

On the one hand, there is no doubt that the new
technology
offers new possibilities in all workplaces;
for example
, it increases productivity and
also
saves much of
time
,
people
now
can work in real
time
, they do not
have to
wait to return to their offices to update records or to
make
a note,
instead
they
directly
access their emails and doing whatever they need even if they are at home.

On the other hand
,
many
people
although they
agree
on that it
makes
our life easier, it
also
complicates our relationships with families and the
general public
.
For instance
, no one
now
is ready to spend
time
and money to reach relatives in their homes, they
just
satisfied by texting them messages or calling
the,
this result in a
big
gap between young adult and their parents and grandparents, this may be due to the fact that children spend most of their
time
online studying or enjoying social websites and older
people
find this a
little
boring
so
both have nothing to share. In this way, we can
see
clearly
how
technology
affects our relationships
adversely
.

Moreover
,
technology
also
has a detrimental effect on our health and fitness
, best
example would be the young children who
now
find activities too easy by playing sport on screens,
what is more
, it
makes
us forget useful
skills
for example
, fewer
people
are able to do mental arithmetic than in the past
so
traditional
skills
are
being undermined
. A case in point is
many
of these
skills
are in
danger
of dying out completely.

To conclude
,
technology
is a great invention as long as we
use
it in a balanced way not allowing it to ruin our relationships or missing the true joy of life.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Rapid technological change has shaped the world we live in today. Far from having a positive influence, living in the high-tech world dependent on computers and mobile devices has distracted us from what is really important in life. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
356 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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