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Qusetion 4: 60 secondspassage about System thinking. In the lecture, professor gives his own example of working in a company. v.1

Qusetion 4: 60 secondspassage about System thinking. In the lecture, professor gives his own example of working in a company. v. 1
Environmental protection is one of the most important challenges almost every country is facing. However, whether the government and the big firms have to contribute to preserving our environment is a controversial issue. My view is that we as individuals also have a crucial role to do environmental protection. First of all, it is clear that it is human activities that have negatively impacted on the environment throughout history. This means that both environmental contamination and conservation are the long-term process, and no single government or corporations can tackle this challenge alone. So, every one of us needs to participate in fighting climate change by taking public transit, carpool, ride a bicycle or use fuel-efficient vehicles. Moreover, the public’s wills and behaviours have a critical influence on the government’s policies and the company’s strategies. For example, if citizens say no to plastic bags and avoid using thrown-away items, the firms that manufacture such products will switch to produce other environment-friendly substitutes in order to survive in the market. This is not to say that government and large business have not needed to be responsible for the deterioration of the ecosystem. Indeed, government can enact laws and offer programs to raise the public’s low-carbon awareness; Companies can promote eco-friendly products to change people’s consuming habits. For instance, government should But they also need an individual’s appreciation and support to bring good results. In conclusion, every effort is precious when we are protecting the environment. Meanwhile, local authorities and organizations must shoulder their responsibility to develop renewable energies such as wind, hydro and solar power. Only by doing so we can assure that we could hand this beautiful planet to our next generation and the next generation after.
Environmental protection is one of the most
important
challenges almost every country is facing.
However
, whether the
government
and the
big
firms
have to
contribute to preserving our environment is a controversial issue. My view is that we as individuals
also
have a crucial role to do environmental protection.

First of all
, it is
clear
that it is human activities that have
negatively
impacted on the environment throughout history. This means that both environmental contamination and conservation are the long-term process, and no single
government
or corporations can tackle this challenge alone.
So
, every one of us needs to participate in fighting climate
change
by taking public transit, carpool, ride a bicycle or
use
fuel-efficient vehicles.
Moreover
, the public’s wills and
behaviours
have a critical influence on the
government’s
policies and the
company
’s strategies.
For example
, if citizens say no to plastic bags and avoid using thrown-away items, the firms that manufacture such products will switch to produce other environment-friendly substitutes in order to survive in the market.

This is not to say that
government
and large business have not needed to be responsible for the deterioration of the ecosystem.
Indeed
,
government
can enact laws and offer programs to raise the public’s low-carbon awareness;
Companies
can promote eco-friendly products to
change
people
’s consuming habits.
For instance
,
government
should
But
they
also
need an individual’s appreciation and support to bring
good
results.

In conclusion
, every effort is precious when we are protecting the environment. Meanwhile, local authorities and organizations
must
shoulder their responsibility to develop renewable energies such as wind, hydro and solar power.
Only
by doing
so
we can assure that we could hand this
beautiful
planet to our
next
generation and the
next
generation after.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Qusetion 4: 60 secondspassage about System thinking. In the lecture, professor gives his own example of working in a company. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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