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Question 6. Academic lecture in child development class. Young children and art. Using points and examples from the talk explain how learning art can impact child's develpment. v.1

Question 6. Academic lecture in child development class. Young children and art. Using points and examples from the talk explain how learning art can impact child's develpment. v. 1
Nowadays, global warming is a significant concern across the globe because it is causing drastic changes in the environment ecosystem. In opinion, it is impossible to live with changes and government and people can adopt measures to reduce the climate changes to some extent. However, there are reasons why the human being cannot survive with the changes in the environment. The Human being cannot remain alive with the changes as they cannot survive a small rise in sea level due to global warming. This small rise could dislocate the people houses and injure the house residents, which means a public will suffer from these calamities, and even it can give rise to the diseases in the local area. If in the future, people found natural calamities such as flood, residents would not be able to sustain themselves. As a result, it is very hard to live with these climate changes. On the other hand, the public and the government can take necessary action to decrease the changes in the climate to some extent. On an individual perspective, they can start using eco-friendly products, throwing recycle waste in the recycling bag, and increasing the use of cycle instead of cars or flights. On the government perspective, they can impose green taxes on vehicle users, penalties or fines on gas emissions from factories, and restricting the deforestations. Therefore, if the government and individuals play their role effectively, the improvement can be seen in the upcoming days. In conclusion, global warming is a serious concern which should be decreased if the federal and individual shows active involvement instead of sustaining themselves.
Nowadays, global warming is a significant concern across the globe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is causing drastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in the environment ecosystem. In opinion, it is impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can adopt measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

However
, there are reasons why the human being cannot survive with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in the environment. The Human being cannot remain alive with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
as they cannot survive a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
rise in sea level due to global warming. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
rise could dislocate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
houses
and injure the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
residents, which means a public will suffer from these calamities, and even it can give rise to the diseases in the local area. If in the future,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
found natural calamities such as flood, residents would not be able to sustain themselves.
As a result
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with these climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

On the other hand
, the public and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can take necessary action to decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in the climate to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. On an individual perspective, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using eco-friendly products, throwing recycle waste in the recycling bag, and increasing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cycle
instead
of cars or flights.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
On
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
perspective, they can impose green taxes on vehicle users, penalties or fines on gas emissions from factories, and restricting the
Possible spelling mistake found.
deforestations
.
Therefore
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and individuals play their role
effectively
, the improvement can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the upcoming days.

In conclusion
, global warming is a serious concern which should
be decreased
if the federal and individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
active involvement
instead
of sustaining themselves.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Question 6. Academic lecture in child development class. Young children and art. Using points and examples from the talk explain how learning art can impact child's develpment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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