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Many people believe that family has greater impact on children life? do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Many people believe that family has greater impact on children life? v. 1
Family play significant role among Julienne life. It is suggested by follows that family indoctrinate enormous thing to blooming buds than the other factors such as kith and kin, TV, music. But I partially agree with this statement. To begin with, family teach many things to their offspring. brood communication skills and good manner can be gained by kids while spending time with their Parents will reads to become vigilant. Parents have lot of experience Because they have keen through many up and down in life. Parents Prefer to share with their children it makes them brave to encounter any kind of menace in their life. Because offspring imitate to their parents. Moreover parents always Provide better nourishment to offspring it help them to stay healthy in life. However Parents always encourage them to involve in physical activities It makes them extrovert and escape them many types of ailments. On the other hand, it is certain that TV and kith and kin also have great impact on children. Team work is learnt by kids while sped time plunge discrimination among them. It makes them sociable. Moreover huge knowledge is gained by TV. Because it broadcasting many types of Daily soup which provide knowledge to denizens it is very fruitful for them. To exemplify, one is discovery channel give knowledge about wild life and science. It may very Profitable for kids in their education. In this final analysis, I would concede that. Other factors also plays indispensable role among kids. It teach them lot of things.
Family
play
significant role among Julienne
life
. It
is suggested
by follows that family indoctrinate enormous thing to blooming buds than the other factors such as kith and kin, TV, music.
But
I
partially
agree
with this statement.

To
begin
with, family teach
many
things to their offspring.
brood
communication
skills
and
good
manner can
be gained
by
kids
while spending time with their
Parents
will reads to become vigilant.
Parents
have
lot of
experience
Because
they have keen through
many
up and down in
life
.
Parents
Prefer to share with their children it
makes
them brave to encounter any kind of menace in their
life
.
Because
offspring imitate to their
parents
.
Moreover
parents
always Provide better nourishment to offspring it
help
them to stay healthy in
life
.
However
Parents
always encourage them to involve in physical activities It
makes
them extrovert and escape them
many
types of ailments.

On the other hand
, it is certain that TV and kith and kin
also
have great impact on children. Team work is
learnt
by
kids
while sped time plunge discrimination among them. It
makes
them sociable.
Moreover
huge knowledge
is gained
by TV.
Because
it broadcasting
many
types of Daily soup which provide knowledge to denizens it is
very
fruitful for them. To exemplify, one is discovery channel give knowledge about wild
life
and science. It may
very
Profitable for
kids
in their education.

In this final analysis, I would concede that. Other factors
also
plays indispensable role among
kids
. It
teach
them lot of things.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that family has greater impact on children life? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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