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Young people prefer listening to music rather than listening to the news on the radio. Is this positive or a negative trend. provide reasons and examples for your opinion? v.3

Young people prefer listening to music rather than listening to the news on the radio. Is this positive or a negative trend. provide reasons and examples for your opinion? v. 3
Music plays an indispensable role in human being life. Mostly teenagers prefer hearing to music as compared to the news on a radio. In my opinion, people can relieve their stress level to listen to music and it is a largely positive trend but it has also some negative impact on them. It is certainly true that people can do whole things with the help of music. The main advantage is that as people listen to several kinds of music such as pop, jazz, folk, and even traditional music, this may help to get insight into distinctive cultures and languages instead of radio because of radio is less popular among young people these days. For instance, even if people commute to certain places, then they can easily spend their leisure time to listen to different music and people feel comfortable and relaxed. It has also a negative impact on youngsters life. In music, they can only listen to pop and jazz which are not essential for them, but on radio, there is innumerable news related to crimes, sports, and education which they could aware of whole things in their life. As a result, the majority of people would not know about what is happening around them, if a radio has not listened by humanity. The main reason to listen to music is that today people have a hectic schedule to do such work, thus they listen to music owing to which individuals want to relieve their stress level. In my perspective, both radio and music are joint endeavors due to both are equally important for the development of every person. To conclude, although it is a decent way to listen to different types of music because of young people can get a chance to enhance their knowledge of several things, yet also they should be concerned about demerits of music.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
plays an indispensable role in human being life.
Mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
prefer hearing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as compared to the news on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can relieve their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and it is a
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on them.

It is
certainly
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do whole things with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. The main advantage is that as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to several kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
such as pop, jazz, folk, and even traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, this may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
insight into distinctive cultures and languages
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is less popular among young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days.
For instance
, even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commute to certain places, then they can
easily
spend their leisure time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel comfortable and relaxed.

It has
also
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "youngsters'" or "youngster's"?
youngsters
life. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to pop and jazz which are not essential for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
, there is innumerable news related to crimes, sports, and education which they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
could aware
of whole things in their life.
As a result
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not know about what is happening around them, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
has not listened by humanity.

The main reason to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a hectic schedule to do such work,
thus
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
owing to which individuals want to relieve their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level. In my perspective, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are joint endeavors due to both are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the development of every person.

To conclude
, although it is a decent way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to enhance their knowledge of several things,
yet
also
they should
be concerned
about demerits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Young people prefer listening to music rather than listening to the news on the radio. Is this positive or a negative trend. provide reasons and examples for your opinion? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
310 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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