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In many parts of the world water sources are becoming more polluted. discuss the problems and the solutions? v.1

In many parts of the world water sources are becoming more polluted. discuss the problems and the solutions? v. 1
Cordial relationship among the nations is considered by few as the solution for the problems encountered by the World currently. I strongly agree that the beneficial connection between countries can go a long way in not only solving the issues but also preventing them from occurring. Right after the World Wars, all the countries in the World have recognised the need for peace and harmony on Earth in order to provide a better place for the future generations to live in. For example, several bodies like United Nations, World Bank, etc. , were formed in the 1940s and 50s to act as platforms for international collaboration. Thus, the need for a harmonious relationship between nations was recognised by top leadership long back. The burning problems that are facing the society today are global in nature, such as climate change, hacking, digital privacy, overpopulation, etc. These issues are spread across borders and cannot be solved by a particular community or state or country in isolation. Collective solution is the need of the hour and it is rightly understood by the leaders of World nations. For instance, the Climate Change Summits are organized annually to monitor the efforts of different countries towards restoring the environmental balance. Further, collaboration among nations can also prevent future hazards by sharing the knowledge on how the issues were solved in a particular situation and how such solutions can be applied in other scenarios. For example, Indian government implemented demonetisation measures in 2017, in response to which, then Australian Prime Minister stated that she could apply this solution in Australia to eradicate black money. Therefore, I conclude stating that mutually beneficial relationships and transactions between nations is essential not only for resolving issues, but also for promoting a safer World for coming generations.
Cordial relationship among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
is considered
by few as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
for the problems encountered by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
currently
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the beneficial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can go a long way in not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
preventing them from occurring.

Right after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Wars, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
have
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
the need for peace and harmony on Earth in order to provide a better place for the future generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
For example
, several bodies like United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Bank, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
were formed
in the 1940s and 50s to act as platforms for international collaboration.
Thus
, the need for a harmonious relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
was
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
by top leadership long back.

The burning problems that are facing the society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are global in nature, such as climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, hacking, digital privacy, overpopulation, etc. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
are spread
across borders and cannot
be solved
by a particular community or state or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in isolation. Collective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is the need of the hour and it is
rightly
understood by the leaders of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
For instance
, the Climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Change
Summits
are organized
annually
to monitor the efforts of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
towards restoring the environmental balance.

Further
, collaboration among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
future hazards by sharing the knowledge on how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
were solved
in a particular situation and how such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
can
be applied
in other scenarios.
For example
, Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
implemented
Possible spelling mistake. 'demonetisation' is British English.
demonetisation
measures in 2017, in response to which, then Australian Prime Minister stated that she could apply this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
in Australia to eradicate black money.

Therefore
, I conclude stating that
mutually
beneficial relationships and transactions between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
is essential not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for resolving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for promoting a safer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
for coming generations.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In many parts of the world water sources are becoming more polluted. discuss the problems and the solutions? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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