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Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent. v.6

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent. v. 6
People believe that educational institutions should include parenting as a compulsory subject. To a certain extent, I share a similar point of view with this statement, and I also believe that communication skill is essential to be trained to the pupils. One reason why children ought to be taught about parenting in schools is that the pupils spend a large amount of their time in schools. In Indonesia, for instance, most of the students use up almost 9 to 10 hours a day in school and this makes educational institutions having sufficient time to provide parenting knowledge for the pupils. Moreover, if parenting becomes one of the mandatory subjects, the students will learn hard as they are afraid of being left behind or get poor marks. However, I also believe that parents play important roles in terms of educating the students about parenting. The parents have to show a good example for their children so that they have a role model to look for when they learn about parenting. I am convinced that a good parent should master a good communication skill as they will require this ability to communicate with their children. One of the parent’s roles is to provide knowledge for children. Without profound communication ability, the parents might fail to transfer insight for their children. Thus, teaching how to maintain interpersonal and intrapersonal communication is essential for the students. To sum up, I agree that parenting should be one of the mandatory subjects in schools and I also think that every good parent should master a good communication skill, so that they can communicate effectively with their children.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
believe that educational institutions should include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
as a compulsory subject. To a certain extent, I share a similar point of view with this statement, and I
also
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is essential to
be trained
to the pupils.

One reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
ought to
be taught
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is that the pupils spend a large amount of their time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. In Indonesia,
for instance
, most of the students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
up almost 9 to 10 hours a day in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
educational institutions having sufficient time to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
knowledge for the pupils.
Moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
becomes one of the mandatory subjects, the students will learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
as they are afraid of being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
poor marks.
However
, I
also
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles in terms of educating the students about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
example for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they have a role model to look for when they learn about parenting.

I
am convinced
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
should master a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
as they will require this ability to communicate with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. One of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
roles is to provide knowledge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Without profound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
ability, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
might fail to transfer insight for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Thus
, teaching how to maintain interpersonal and intrapersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is essential for the students.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
should be one of the mandatory subjects in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
should master a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can communicate
effectively
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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