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Question: Should governments spend more money on improving roads and highways, or should governments spend more money on improving public transportation (buses, trains, subways)? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay. v.1

Question: Should governments spend more money on improving roads and highways, or should governments spend more money on improving public transportation (buses, trains, subways)? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay. v. 1
Some people go to university in order to get a worthy job, while others believe that practical skills or to be experienced is more significant. This essay will discuss both these viewpoints as getting higher education is beneficial as well as developing skills. It is clear that any job requires the knowledge or experienced skills. What is more, if you want to be a white collar worker working in a bank or in an office and get a promotion, it requires a higher education. In addition, many employers prefer employees with diplomas in today's job market. For instance, in Kazakhstan a good salary of teachers depends on how much a teacher is qualified. They have to maintain and improve their knowledge every year. Moreover, some jobs need proper education like doctors, engineers etc. Because of their knowledge depends many things like healthy nation or good construction. Thus, it makes clear why to be educated plays the main role. However, in spite of having diplomas even red ones, some graduates cannot find a working place by their speciality. Because many employers would like to have experienced staff. What's more, there are some professions which require developing skills and experiences rather than a higher education like carpenters, builders, furniture makers, painters etc. These employees do not earn less than educated people. Even, some of them are self employed and run a successful business. Therefore, practical and experienced skills are beneficial. In conclusion, the argument that if you want to get a good wage you need to have higher education rather than experience or developing skills is common. Both these factors are connected to each other and crucial for the most professions, although some jobs do not need higher education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go to university in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a worthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, while others believe that practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
or to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
is more significant. This essay will discuss both these viewpoints as getting higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is beneficial
as well
as developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
requires the knowledge or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
What is more
, if you want to be a white collar worker working in a bank or in an office and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a promotion, it requires a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employers prefer employees with diplomas in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market.
For instance
, in Kazakhstan a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary of teachers depends on how much a teacher
is qualified
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
maintain and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their knowledge every year.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
need proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
like doctors, engineers etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of their knowledge
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depends on".
depends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things like healthy nation or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
construction.
Thus
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
why to
be educated
plays the main role.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
having diplomas even red ones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
graduates cannot find a working place by their
Possible spelling mistake. 'speciality' is British English.
speciality
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employers would like to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
staff. What's more, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professions which require developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and experiences
rather
than a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
like carpenters, builders, furniture makers, painters etc. These employees do not earn less than educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Even,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self employed
and run a successful business.
Therefore
, practical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are beneficial.

In conclusion
, the argument that if you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
wage you need to have higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
rather
than experience or developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is common. Both these factors
are connected
to each other and crucial for the most professions, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
do not need higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Question: Should governments spend more money on improving roads and highways, or should governments spend more money on improving public transportation (buses, trains, subways)? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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