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Animals are becoming exist due to human activities on land and in sea. Why has this happen? What’s the solution? v. 1

It is true that the rapid development of different industries has destroyed wildlife habitat and a variety of animal species are on the verge of extinction. This is deeply negetaive consequences due to human activities which has been placing profound impacts on animal life. There are several causes which lead to the extinction of species on land and in the sea. Firstly, what has been doing on land is the area of forest was narrowed by the development of construction. This means that the natural habitat was damaged, no space for animal’s living, leading to the decrease of a numerous of species. It has also degraded ecosystems and threaten some species with extinction. Secondly, the industrialization have serious impacts, causing water pollution and extinction of species. heavy industries such as steel factories, discharged and dumped tons of waste into the sea without a discharge permit, polluted the ocean and posed threat to the balance of marine ecosystem. For instances, tons of marine animals was killed and died by untreated sewage from Fomosa steel factory in Quang Tri province in Viet Nam. To prevent the extinction of animal, there are several measures which can be taken to solve these issues. One of this could be that protecting and restoring the natural environment on which many endangered species depend for their survival. In particular, experts on construction field should develop their projects vertically instead of horizontally and do not encroach on forest land. Furthermore, national and local authorities must introduce more campaigns to raise public awareness about the role of wildlife in human life. Besides, national governments must enact strict law to punish and prevent illegal activities which destroy and threaten natural environment, for example animal traffickers. In conclusion, the extinction of species result in many issues which can call for possible solutions to be adopted.

IELTS essay Animals are becoming exist due to human activities on land and in sea. Why has this happen? What’s the solution? v.1

It is true that the rapid development of
different
industries has
destroyed
wildlife habitat and a variety of
animal
species are on the verge of
extinction
. This is
deeply
negetaive
consequences due to human activities which has been placing profound impacts on
animal
life. There are several causes which lead to the
extinction
of species on land and in the sea.
Firstly
, what has been doing on land is the area of forest
was narrowed
by the development of construction. This means that the natural habitat
was damaged
, no space for
animal’s
living, leading to the decrease of
a numerous of
species. It has
also
degraded ecosystems and threaten
some
species with
extinction
.
Secondly
, the industrialization have serious impacts, causing water pollution and
extinction
of species.
heavy
industries such as steel factories, discharged and dumped tons of waste into the sea without a discharge permit, polluted the ocean and posed threat to the balance of marine ecosystem. For instances, tons of marine
animals
was killed
and
died
by untreated sewage from
Fomosa
steel factory in
Quang
Tri
province in
Viet
Nam. To
prevent
the
extinction
of
animal
, there are several measures which can
be taken
to solve these issues. One of this could be that protecting and restoring the natural environment on which
many
endangered species depend for their survival.
In particular
, experts on construction field should develop their projects
vertically
instead
of
horizontally
and do not encroach on forest land.
Furthermore
, national and local authorities
must
introduce more campaigns to raise public awareness about the role of wildlife in human life.
Besides
, national
governments
must
enact strict law to punish and
prevent
illegal activities which
destroy
and threaten natural environment,
for example
animal
traffickers.
In conclusion
, the
extinction
of species result in
many
issues which can call for possible solutions to
be adopted
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Essay
4 paragraphs
304 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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