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Question: Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion. v.1

Question: Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion. v. 1
Many people change their career of various reasons ranging from better prospects, high earnings to the better quality of life. Firstly, I think that it is a critical thing to change job and area from one to another because it requires a lot of potential and adaptability to do this. This happens when a crisis occurs in any particular field. Most of people lose their jobs by this way and they have to change their career, workplace, even living place. If a person has knowledge in some other fields, he can actually sustain. For instance, if a person is a good at math and he is working as a teacher and he decides to switch his career. He can work as an accountant or he can learn basic programming and toil as a programmer. As a programmer or accountant can reach highs faster than as a teacher. Secondly, changing the living places because one likes to move to the place where he gets a good salary in his profession. Most of the people migrate from place to another in search of jobs also and the best facilities to live a comfortable life. For example, when this teacher works in state school, he gets a cheaper salary. But if he changes his workplace and goes to work in primary school he could get a higher salary. As a result, they become more motivated and energized to accept new responsibilities at work and finally it is an advantage for their personal development. Furthermore, this trend will worth the society in the long run because when a society consists of an energetic and satisfied workforce, which has a better work-life balance, eventually the country will develop not only economically but also socially.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their career of various reasons ranging from better prospects, high earnings to the better quality of life.

Firstly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a critical thing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
job and area from one to another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
potential and adaptability to do this. This happens when a crisis occurs in any particular field. Most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lose their jobs by this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
way and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their career, workplace, even living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. If a person has knowledge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other fields, he can actually sustain.
For instance
, if a person is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
math and
he is working as a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
teacher and
he decides to switch his career. He can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as an
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
accountant or
he can learn basic programming and toil as a programmer. As a programmer or accountant can reach highs faster than as a teacher.

Secondly
, changing the living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one likes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary in his profession. Most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
migrate from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to another in search of jobs
also
and the best facilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a comfortable life.
For example
, when this teacher works in state school, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a cheaper salary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
his workplace and goes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in primary school he could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a higher salary.

As a result
, they become more motivated and energized to accept new responsibilities at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
finally
it is an advantage for their personal development.
Furthermore
, this trend will worth the society in the long run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when a society consists of an energetic and satisfied workforce, which has a better work-life balance,
eventually
the country will develop not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
economically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
socially
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Question: Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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