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It is often said that governments spent too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is often said that governments spent too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? v. 1
It is inevitably true that people’s age is going up with the development of the world. The development of human life’s longing leads to significant problems for individuals and our society, however, we can implement various methods to deal with these problems. The rise of senior citizen number results in huge pressures on authorities and young people in the reality. Governments have to reduce their spending on other sectors such as: education, infrastructure and economic investment because of raising welfare funds. Moreover, there is an increase in retired people who will receive a pension that brings about strongly effects on the national budget. Meanwhile, the smaller proportion of young adults means that smaller working population. They also have a heavier tax burden and responsibilities to look after their elderly relatives. In order to resolve these difficulties, we can adopt many effective ways. Age retirement will rise so that the expenditure of national pension funds could be released. Authorities should spend more on programs studying advanced medical techniques to help older people can work for longer and stay healthy with low costs. On the other hand, governments may also encourage people have more children to increase the percentage of working population. Reducing the migration restrictions is alternative method to raise the national human resources. In summary, the average life expectance increase puts high pressure on community and every person. And to solve this trouble, we can use approaches to raise the number of children, the young density higher and bring the expenses for old people down.
It is
inevitably
true that
people’s
age is going up with the development of the world. The development of human life’s longing leads to significant problems for individuals and our society,
however
, we can implement various methods to deal with these problems.

The rise of senior citizen number results in huge pressures on authorities and young
people
in the reality.
Governments
have to
reduce
their spending on other sectors such as: education, infrastructure and economic investment
because
of raising welfare funds.
Moreover
, there is an increase in retired
people
who will receive a pension that brings about
strongly
effects on the national budget. Meanwhile, the smaller proportion of young adults means that smaller working population. They
also
have a heavier tax burden and responsibilities to look after their elderly relatives.

In order to resolve these difficulties, we can adopt
many
effective ways. Age retirement will rise
so
that the expenditure of national pension funds could
be released
. Authorities should spend more on programs studying advanced medical techniques to
help
older
people
can work for longer and stay healthy with low costs.
On the other hand
,
governments
may
also
encourage
people
have more children to increase the percentage of working population. Reducing the migration restrictions is alternative method to raise the national human resources.

In summary, the average life
expectance
increase puts high pressure on community and every person. And to solve this trouble, we can
use
approaches to raise the number of children, the young density higher and bring the expenses for
old
people
down.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is often said that governments spent too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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