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Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion. v.2

Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion. v. 2
In some workplaces it is compulsory to wear uniform, otherwise people can be dismissed due to the breaching dress code. There several benefits and drawbacks of wearing uniforms. According to me, uniforms should be obligatory in some workplaces. In the terms of advantages, many people believe that uniform plays an important role in maintaining discipline. Moreover the social inequality between the workers is concealed by dress code. It is one of the major means of removing a gap among the rich and poor people. In recent years, some people regard the workplace as a fashion place. Due to that, the necessity of dress code in companies is put forward by some persons. On the other hand, people who against the view mentioned above opine that applying dress code can reduce productivity and decelerate working process. Because tight, uncomfortable uniforms distract employees' concentration of the work and it has a great impact on work efficiency. That is the proponents of this opinion think that dress code is nothing without an impediment for workers. From my point of view, besides the aforementioned ideas wearing uniforms also is a safety measure in some workplaces, such as in police and firefight services. And it is irrefutable that without work uniforms it would be risky and dangerous to chase criminals or to fight against the flames. For example, firefighter's uniform has a unique external surface which designed delicately by specialists in order to protect them from burnings injuries and the effect of the flames. In conclusion, It will be always controversial issue whether enforcing workers wear uniform is an advantage or disadvantage, but according to the positive outcomes of wearing uniform outweigh the advantages.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
workplaces it is compulsory to wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
,
otherwise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be dismissed
due to the breaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code. There several benefits and drawbacks of wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
should be obligatory in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
workplaces.

In the terms of advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in maintaining discipline.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the social inequality between the workers
is concealed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code. It is one of the major means of removing a gap among the rich and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regard the workplace as a fashion place. Due to that, the necessity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
is put
forward by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
persons.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who against the view mentioned above opine that applying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
productivity and decelerate working process.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
tight, uncomfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
distract employees' concentration of the work and it has a great impact on work efficiency.
That is
the proponents of this opinion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code is nothing without an impediment for workers.

From my point of view,
besides
the aforementioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
also
is a safety measure in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
workplaces, such as in police and firefight services. And it is irrefutable that without work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
it would be risky and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to chase criminals or to fight against the flames.
For example
, firefighter's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
has a unique external surface which designed
delicately
by specialists in order to protect them from
Possible spelling mistake found.
burnings
injuries and the effect of the flames.

In conclusion
, It will be always controversial issue whether enforcing workers wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
is an advantage or disadvantage,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
according to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes of wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
outweigh the advantages.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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