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Question number 6. Using points and examples from the lecture, describe fear and explain how this fear helps children. v.1

Question number 6. Using points and examples from the lecture, describe fear and explain how this fear helps children. v. 1
With the curious nature of human beings, history enthusiasts believe that the quest to decode the origin and past of human ancestors is very important as it would help us to understand human life. However, some people do not support this idea. This essay will discuss both perspectives along with my take on it. History has proven to be a great teacher of human beings in every aspect. Especially with the invention of modern technologies, archaeologists and scientists can unwind the human history even with more accuracy than ever. Although these experiments are very expensive, the historians believe that these discoveries will provide valuable insights on how to approach life for the greater good. For instance, wars have taught people that they only cause a loss of human life. Similarly, we will be able to lead a better future learning from our past. On the contrary, some people argue that the lifestyle of humans at present is very different from the past. Therefore, the lessons from our past would not be of any help now. In fact, many ideas of our ancestors would be irrelevant to the current situation. One such example is the change in family roles, which is not relevant anymore. Women in our society are well educated unlike women from the past. In conclusion, the life of our ancestors is indeed very different from ours with a huge gap in ideologies. However, I believe that life is a journey where humans learn from their mistakes and progress. It is a smart move to learn from our ancestors and avoid those mistakes.
With the curious nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings, history enthusiasts believe that the quest to decode the origin and past of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancestors
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not support this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. This essay will discuss both perspectives along with my take on it.

History has proven to be a great teacher of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings in every aspect.
Especially
with the invention of modern technologies, archaeologists and scientists can unwind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
history even with more accuracy than ever. Although these experiments are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive, the historians believe that these discoveries will provide valuable insights on how to approach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for the greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
For instance
, wars have taught
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cause a loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Similarly
, we will be able to lead a better future learning from our past.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that the lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
at present is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the past.
Therefore
, the lessons from our past would not be of any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancestors
would be irrelevant to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation. One such example is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in family roles, which is not relevant anymore. Women in our society are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
unlike women from the past.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancestors
is
indeed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from ours with a huge gap in ideologies.
However
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is a journey where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
learn from their mistakes and progress. It is a smart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to learn from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancestors
and avoid those mistakes.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Question number 6. Using points and examples from the lecture, describe fear and explain how this fear helps children. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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