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The charts below show the males and females arrested over five years and the reasons for the most recent arrests. v.1

The charts below show the males and females arrested over five years and the reasons for the most recent arrests. v. 1
It is irrefutable that health plays a crucial role for mankind. Without good health conditions a person cannot do anything. One section of society holds this notion that it is the human's responsibility to maintain their health, but others think that it is the duty of government to take care of everyone's body system. This essay delves into both perspectives. Firstly, no doubt, individuals should take care about their own physical state. Every person should know about their own diet and health. For example, every nation should know the exact amount of food and calories they need per day. Furthermore, everyone should do some physical exercise to maintain the fitness. Apart from this, people should avoid unhealthy products like alcohol, tobacco, cigarettes as these are bad for everyone and can affect the body. On the other hand, it is also a responsibility of government to keep an eye on the health of folk. Media should ban the unhealthy products. For instance, alcohol, tobacco, cigarettes should be banned as these products are not good for people's health. Moreover, the government should aware individuals to take proper calories and protein. The government should host some tv program or seminars that give proper knowledge about health and diet. Overall, it is the responsibility of both to take care about physical state. Everyone should know about the exact diet as well as health and do some physical work to maintain proper health. Authority should ban unhealthy products and should aware nation about healthy food.
It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
plays a crucial role for mankind. Without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions a person cannot do anything. One section of society holds this notion that it is the human's responsibility to maintain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is the duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to take care of everyone's body system. This essay delves into both perspectives.

Firstly
, no doubt, individuals should take care about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
state. Every person should know about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
diet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For example
, every nation should know the exact amount of food and calories they need per day.
Furthermore
, everyone should do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise to maintain the fitness. Apart from this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should avoid unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
like alcohol, tobacco, cigarettes as these are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for everyone and can affect the body.

On the other hand
, it is
also
a responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of folk. Media should ban the unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For instance
, alcohol, tobacco, cigarettes should
be banned
as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should aware individuals to take proper calories and protein. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should host
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
program or seminars that give proper knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and diet.

Overall
, it is the responsibility of both to take care about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
state. Everyone should know about the exact diet
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
work to maintain proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Authority should ban unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and should aware nation about healthy food.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay The charts below show the males and females arrested over five years and the reasons for the most recent arrests. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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