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Question: many people believe that zoos should be closed because it is cruel to keep animals locked up. Moreover, zoos do not have positive roles to play in society. Discuss v.1

Question: many people believe that zoos should be closed because it is cruel to keep animals locked up. Moreover, zoos do not have positive roles to play in society. Discuss v. 1
Most people think Zoological centres should be put-out of service because it is hostile to cage-up animals, more so, these zoos have no beneficial impact on the society. In reality, it is morally wrong to put animals under confinement. Animals have their own rights as well as freedom to move about as long as they do not pose a threat to humans. Therefore, if humans cannot permit such free movement, then, these animals should be left in the wild where they can roam freely. Rather than keep them in confinement for the amusement of humans. For instance, most zoos routinely permit their animals to bask in sunlight for a short period of time So, zoos should be closed because they deprive animals of roaming in the wild, which is known to be their natural environment. Furthermore, zoos do not offer any advantage to the society. In fact, it paints a picture that animals can be maltreated as long as they are in captivity. Therefore, people think it is generally acceptable to abuse animals. This is one of the major reasons why humans engage in vile hobbies such as game hunting, or setting two animals to fight each other, while they watch with pleasure. In essence, zoos should be shut-down as they have no potential benefits to the people. In conclusion, as much as zoos serve as a source of amusement to humans, it should be closed because it prevents animals from roaming in their natural environment, more so, it empowers people to abuse animals whether the domestic ones or the ones in the zoo or the one found in the wild.
Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Zoological
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
should
be put
-out of service
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is hostile to cage-up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, these zoos have no beneficial impact on the society.

In reality, it is
morally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
under confinement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
rights
as well
as freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
about as long as they do not pose a threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
Therefore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
cannot permit such free movement, then, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
in the wild where they can roam
freely
.
Rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them in confinement for the amusement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
For instance
, most zoos
routinely
permit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to bask in sunlight for a short period of time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, zoos should
be closed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they deprive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
of roaming in the wild, which
is known
to be their natural environment.

Furthermore
, zoos do not offer any advantage to the society. In fact, it paints a picture that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can
be maltreated
as long as they are in captivity.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
generally
acceptable to abuse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. This is one of the major reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
engage in vile hobbies such as game hunting, or setting two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to fight each other, while they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
with pleasure. In essence, zoos should
be shut
-down as they have no potential benefits to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, as much as zoos serve as a source of amusement to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, it should
be closed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from roaming in their natural environment, more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it empowers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to abuse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
whether the domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
in the zoo or the one found in the wild.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Question: many people believe that zoos should be closed because it is cruel to keep animals locked up. Moreover, zoos do not have positive roles to play in society. Discuss v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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