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School teachers are more responsible for social and intellectual development of students than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

School teachers are more responsible for social and intellectual development of students than parents. v. 2
Teachers' roles are undoubtedly vital for the development of children, to the extent that some people may claim they are more important than the students' own parents. Even though I agree that educators play a major role in the pupils' intellectual and behavioral upbringing, I do not believe they could overtake the parents' place. School definitely has a huge influence on children, therefore, teachers would as well. Firstly, students spend about a third of their day at school, which in turn means that a child's time for interaction with the teacher may exceed that with parents. Also, a considerable number of parents usually come home late at night, well after their offsprings have gone to bed. They also could be exhausted after work, and that prevents them from spending quality time with their sons or daughters. Moreover, as students grow and move into the phase of rebelling against figures of authority, they are more likely to listen to a friendly tutor than a strict parent. On the other hand, parents posses advantages that teachers do not. For example, all children are more familiar with their parents than their teachers, since parents are a child's first safe zone. A parent is every toddlers first role model, friend, and care giver, so he or she does not need to put in much effort to influence their child. In addition to that, a teacher can never provide each student with enough attention, as the number of pupils in a single classroom requires more care than one person can give. While each family can only have so many offsprings, and thus, their needs are more likely to be met. In conclusion, school teachers and parents are both cornerstones to students' social and intellectual growth. However, I believe that parents take the lion's share in the raising of their son or daughter.
Teachers' roles are
undoubtedly
vital for the development of children, to the extent that
some
people
may claim they are more
important
than the students'
own
parents
.
Even though
I
agree
that educators play a major role in the pupils' intellectual and behavioral upbringing, I do not believe they could overtake the parents' place.

School definitely has a huge influence on children,
therefore
,
teachers
would
as well
.
Firstly
, students spend about a third of their day at school, which in turn means that a child's time for interaction with the
teacher
may exceed that with
parents
.
Also
, a considerable number of
parents
usually
come
home late at night, well after their
offsprings have
gone to bed. They
also
could
be exhausted
after work, and that
prevents
them from spending quality time with their sons or daughters.
Moreover
, as students grow and
move
into the phase of rebelling against figures of authority, they are more likely to listen to a friendly tutor than a strict parent.

On the other hand
,
parents
posses advantages that
teachers
do not.
For example
, all children are more familiar with their
parents
than their
teachers
, since
parents
are a child's
first
safe zone. A
parent
is every toddlers
first
role model, friend, and care giver,
so
he or she does not need to put in much effort to influence their child.
In addition
to that, a
teacher
can never provide each student with
enough
attention, as the number of pupils in a single classroom requires more care than one person can give. While each family can
only
have
so
many
offsprings
, and
thus
, their needs are more likely to
be met
.

In conclusion
, school
teachers
and
parents
are both cornerstones to students' social and intellectual growth.
However
, I believe that
parents
take the lion's share in the raising of their son or daughter.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay School teachers are more responsible for social and intellectual development of students than parents. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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