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Employers should give long holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree or disagree. v.2

Employers should give long holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. v. 2
Providing employees with longer holidays would motivate them to work better. I agree with that statement and this essay, I will support my view with examples. To begin with, people work more efficiently after a certain amount of break time. Researches show that people who work with the rest do the job better than people who work without rest. It is all because of a human mind structure. Non resting brains, consequently, leads to the inefficiency of the work. jioj iefhusdhzufhsdufh uihsfhnuishzjfuhdsjzhnfHj zsh huih ui hufizshdguihnfuhzs fzsh uf suifh sduh fuhuih suf uish ufh uish ufzhiuh izsuf iu hsuizfyhUIh fuihsd uifh usdh fuih sduifh uish ufh uih jnfuh ius.ui hydghs ZGYfgy AGy ZG ygyzsuy syg y gzsgh yghz hzh i . Another possible point would be the positive environment led by a long time of the break. As majority of employees think of having longer vacations, providing them with it brings happiness into the office. Workers are going to work jointly with their bosses and as a result, the job would be done better than before. idfjuidjfhsduifjdshzfijiofjisjdzj i uifdx guh dfg d g ghudfgh gugnzu hug zhs gd fghfdhg ug fguh guh uhg uh ozghijg zis o g ushzdghuihguhsdf uih zgh ugzshuihgh g huh uih ugh uih suz hg suhugh uhzuh ug huuzxh u h. ,dkne snidfsnzdkjjehzfgnnsuzdfhslzenfgv rfgvfgv sdfgvndlgsdfgbsldz fgsefhsef se efl zsifnsefhseuo fu zshfui szf h8usz kfhsioezf kzlfh islef ilzh ufklasefise fi zdhfkyhseifeeaz To conclude, giving longer vacations bring the productivity of job and positive atmosphere in the company.In my opinion, this approach is very beneficial.
Providing employees with longer holidays would motivate them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
better. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that statement and this essay, I will support my view with examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
efficiently
after a certain amount of break time. Researches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with the rest do the job better than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without rest. It is all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a human mind structure. Non resting brains,
consequently
, leads to the inefficiency of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. jioj iefhusdhzufhsdufh uihsfhnuishzjfuhdsjzhnfHj zsh huih ui hufizshdguihnfuhzs fzsh uf suifh sduh fuhuih suf uish ufh uish ufzhiuh izsuf iu hsuizfyhUIh fuihsd uifh usdh fuih sduifh uish ufh uih jnfuh ius.ui hydghs ZGYfgy AGy ZG ygyzsuy syg y gzsgh yghz hzh i .

Another possible point would be the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
environment led by a long time of the break. As majority of employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of having longer vacations, providing them with it brings happiness into the office. Workers are going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
jointly
with their bosses and
as a result
, the job would
be done
better than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. idfjuidjfhsduifjdshzfijiofjisjdzj i uifdx guh dfg d g ghudfgh gugnzu hug zhs gd fghfdhg ug fguh guh uhg uh ozghijg zis o g ushzdghuihguhsdf uih zgh ugzshuihgh g huh uih ugh uih suz hg suhugh uhzuh ug huuzxh u h.

,dkne snidfsnzdkjjehzfgnnsuzdfhslzenfgv rfgvfgv sdfgvndlgsdfgbsldz fgsefhsef se efl zsifnsefhseuo fu zshfui szf h8usz kfhsioezf kzlfh islef ilzh ufklasefise fi zdhfkyhseifeeaz

To conclude
, giving longer vacations bring the productivity of job and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
atmosphere in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.In my opinion, this approach is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Employers should give long holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. v. 2

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
262 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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