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*Question* In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it? v.1

*Question* In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it? v. 1
Nowadays, the crime rates in certain countries have reduced, however, there is still a threat in people's mind about safety. Some measures could be taken by the government to eradicate such fear. On the one hand, both developed and developing countries are focusing strictly on bringing safety for their citizens on all aspects. The deployment of more police and placing CCTV cameras in crowded and sensitive places like: malls, theatres, restaurants, colleges and schools have brought in control over the crime. Criminals have abstained from entering these places which are under endless surveillance. Besides, national identification cards like "aadhar" have become a mandate in India to make sure every citizen holds their identity and it becomes a traceable device to monitor every activity of a person. A doubt about safety has gone out of some people's mind due to smart measures deployed by municipality and corporations. On the other hand, scepticism about safety still exists. For instance, expats and tourists are targeted by pick pocket and snatchers. Rapes and kidnapping are increasing significantly in the recent years, despite those acts are punishable under law. The world internet data show 60% usage spent on porn websites. Too much sex oriented pictures and videos instigates people to attempt a rape. The government must focus on eradicating such sites. When it comes to kidnap; Children under the age of 8 are mostly attempted. Parents must take extreme care towards their child. They shouldn't be left unnoticed. When kids grow up and become physically strong they should be able to safeguard themselves. To conclude, every country is trying their best to keep their inhabitants safe, however, there are still few crimes that slip through the cracks of safety layer and they must be addressed the way it has to be.
Nowadays, the crime rates in certain countries have
reduced
,
however
, there is
still
a threat in
people
's mind about
safety
.
Some
measures could
be taken
by the
government
to eradicate such fear.

On the one hand, both developed and
developing countries
are focusing
strictly
on bringing
safety
for their citizens on all aspects. The deployment of more police and placing CCTV cameras in crowded and sensitive places like: malls,
theatres
, restaurants, colleges and schools have brought in control over the crime. Criminals have abstained from entering these places which are under endless surveillance.
Besides
, national identification cards like
"
aadhar
"
have become a mandate in India to
make
sure every citizen holds their identity and it becomes a traceable device to monitor every activity of a person. A doubt about
safety
has gone out of
some
people
's mind due to smart measures deployed by municipality and corporations.

On the other hand
,
scepticism
about
safety
still
exists.
For instance
, expats and tourists
are targeted
by pick pocket and snatchers. Rapes and kidnapping are increasing
significantly
in the recent years, despite those acts are punishable under law.

The world internet data
show
60% usage spent on porn websites. Too much sex oriented pictures and videos instigates
people
to attempt a rape. The
government
must
focus on eradicating such sites.

When it
comes
to kidnap; Children under the age of 8 are
mostly
attempted. Parents
must
take extreme care towards their child. They shouldn't be
left
unnoticed.

When kids grow up and become
physically
strong they should be able to safeguard themselves.

To conclude
, every country is trying their best to
keep
their inhabitants safe,
however
, there are
still
few crimes that slip through the cracks of
safety
layer and
they
must
be addressed
the way it
has to
be.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay *Question* In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
296 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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