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In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it? v.5

In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it? v. 5
People do not feel safe anymore although the rates of severe crimes in some countries are on the decline. The main cause of this problem is that serious crimes are not easily forgettable and the most viable solution is to educate the victims. The main cause of people not feeling safe is that severe crime is difficult to forget. That is to say that the after effects of a crime remain in the victim's mind for years to come, which is also reflected in their personality. As a result, the person does not feel safe because he thinks that the same crime might be repeated in his life. For example, The Sunday Times reported that although the crime rate in Nairobi decline, the locals are still in a state of fear because they cannot eliminate the thought of the crime happening again in their lives. However, the most viable solution to deal with such a situation is to educate the victims through publicity campaigns. In other words, the local security personnel and police officers could meet all the victims and take them in confidence regarding the security of the country and their safety. This would result in the victims getting their confidence back in life and they could even feel safer in society. For instance, when the Orlando police officer met with the survivors of shooting attack and educate them in public gatherings, they started to feel much safer in the society among other people. In conclusion, people feel insecure because it is difficult to overlook the serious crimes in life, but educating sufferers in public could solve this problem, and also help them live a normal life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
safe anymore although the rates of severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries are on the decline. The main cause of this problem is that serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are not
easily
forgettable and the most viable solution is to educate the victims.

The main cause of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not feeling safe is that severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is difficult to forget.
That is
to say that the after effects of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
remain in the victim's mind for years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
, which is
also
reflected in their personality.
As a result
, the person does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
safe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
might
be repeated
in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, The Sunday Times reported that although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate in Nairobi decline, the locals are
still
in a state of fear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot eliminate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
happening again in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

However
, the most viable solution to deal with such a situation is to educate the victims through publicity campaigns.
In other words
, the local security personnel and police officers could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
all the victims and take them in confidence regarding the security of the country and their safety. This would result in the victims getting their confidence back in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they could even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
safer in society.
For instance
, when the Orlando police officer met with the survivors of shooting attack and educate them in public gatherings, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
much safer in the society among other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
insecure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is difficult to overlook the serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
educating sufferers in public could solve this problem, and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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