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Do you agree of disagree with the following statement? Boys and girls should attend separate schools. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.3

Boys and girls should attend separate schools. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 3
In many countries, such as UK and Japan, girls and boys still attend separate schools. I feel that this is not a great decision to make studies and life more convenient for both genders. This essay will further discuss reasons to support my standpoint and then deduce a logical conclusion. Firstly, back in time, separates school were a religious thing. Fifty years ago, men would not be around girl because they feel superior and they did not learn the same subject as girls. For our generation, staying with that model does not have any sense. If cleaning was studied only by girls decades ago, mathematics or literature are studied by everyone. In fact, everyone gets the same education. Secondly, people often say that putting barriers between girls and boys helps to the children’s concentration because for instance boys would not try to clown around to get girls' attention. As a matter of fact, it may be true sometimes because you cannot change human being. But yet one big advantage of this cohabitation is that boys gain maturity by being with girls. Then, even if boys and girls are separated during their education, they will need to work in pair afterwards. This separation can enhance the fact that lots of women, or even men, get victimized by their co-workers. As one gender may not be in contact for plenty of years with the other one, they can misinterpret friendship. For example, at school, projects are done in groups. If they are mixed, people will be used to work together. But if not, words can be misinterpreting. Nowadays, adults have a lot of troubles to understand each other, so if we create division, nothing will be fixed. To conclude, I strongly believe that co-education is beneficial to both of girls and boys and that our coexistence would not be easier with separated schools.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, such as UK and Japan,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
still
attend separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. I feel that this is not a great decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
studies and life more convenient for both genders. This essay will
further
discuss reasons to support my standpoint and then deduce a logical conclusion.

Firstly
, back in time, separates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
were a religious thing. Fifty years ago,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
would not be around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
superior and
they did not learn the same subject as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
. For our generation, staying with that model does not have any sense. If cleaning
was studied
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
decades ago, mathematics or literature
are studied
by everyone. In fact, everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the same education.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
say that putting barriers between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to the children’s concentration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
for instance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
would not try to clown around to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
girls&
#039; attention. As a matter of fact, it may be true
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
human being.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
yet
one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
advantage of this cohabitation is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
gain maturity by being with girls.

Then, even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are separated
during their education, they will need to work in pair afterwards. This separation can enhance the fact that lots of women, or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
victimized by their co-workers. As one gender may not be in contact for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of years with the other one, they can misinterpret friendship.
For example
, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, projects
are done
in groups. If they
are mixed
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to work together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if not, words can be misinterpreting. Nowadays, adults have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
troubles to understand each other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if we create division, nothing will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that co-education is beneficial to both of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and that our coexistence would not be easier with separated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Boys and girls should attend separate schools. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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