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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Boys and girls should attend separate schools. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.305

Boys and girls should attend separate schools. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 305
Recently the mode of communication has been transformed and people tend to send an email and text messages instead of meeting their friends in person. Many argue that this has not resulted in favourable impact to their social lives. To most extent I agree with the fact that the recent technology has ruined what used to be the real fun involving and meeting your friends physically. We can't deny the fact that the growing use of emails and messages has resulted in very quick and efficient mode of communication. Furthermore, it is very convenient and user friendly which accessible to every age group and varied group of person. For example, people usually send an email or text message to their friends in different country, instead of sending a letter by post which takes a lot of time compared to the new mode of communicating. However, this quickness and convenience has resulted into laziness amongst the youths and teenagers to meet one another in person. Furthermore, there is no physical activity which improves their health. In the early days when there were no such technology people used to go out and have fun activities with their friends, which is fading away recently with more and more use of internet and new way communication which does not involve any physical activity. I would share an example including me, previously me and my friends use to go out and have a coffee while talking to each other, but now that has been replaced with just chatting over messages, which I feel at times is not enough to be socially active. To conclude, I would say that the use of emails and messages has several benefits mainly which that they are quick and convenient; however, they are having a significant adverse impact on the society and preventing to indulge themselves in physical activities.
Recently the mode of communication has
been transformed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
an email and text
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
instead
of meeting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
argue that this has not resulted in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
impact to their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To most extent I
Consider using "agree that".
agree with the fact that
the recent technology has ruined what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be the real fun involving and meeting your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
physically
.

We can't deny the fact that the growing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of emails and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
has resulted in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quick and efficient mode of communication.
Furthermore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
user friendly
which accessible to every age group and varied group of person.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
an email or text
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country,
instead
of sending a letter by post which takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time compared to the new mode of communicating.

However
, this quickness and convenience has resulted into laziness amongst the youths and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
one another in person.
Furthermore
, there is no physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their health. In the early days when there were no such technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to go out and have fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, which is fading away recently with more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet and new way communication which does not involve any physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. I would share an example including me, previously me and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
go out and have a coffee while talking to each other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
that has
been replaced
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
chatting over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
, which I feel at times is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be
socially
active.

To conclude
, I would say that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of emails and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
has several benefits
mainly
which that they are quick and convenient;
however
, they are having a significant adverse impact on the society and preventing to indulge themselves in physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Boys and girls should attend separate schools. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 305

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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