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people should stay with their old friends than making new friends. do you agree or disagree? v.2

people should stay with their old friends than making new friends. v. 2
All relationships require work. They do not just materialize and maintain themselves, and they are not built on a foundation of convenience either. They take time and patience and two people who are willing to put in the effort. Various points of view which are germane to the matter being discussed brings us to the moot question as to whether individuals should stay with their old friends or make new friends. However, the popular salient to which I vehemently cling is that people should try to find more new friends because it is more advantageous for people to improve their personality. The following paragraphs will aptly substantiate my personal stance. To commence with, our friends play a crucial role in our lives and being away from them could have deleterious effects on our relationships. Broadly speaking, there is nothing more vital to the bond we share with our friends than simply being there for them. Although old friends are familiar with our traits and characters, make new friends could help us view life differently and broaden our horizon extensively. As a tangible example, being friends with new people with different attitudes and passions will provide an opportunity for individuals not to view life intrinsically. The startling fact which flabbergasted me is that majorities of people are inclined toward the opinion that real friends are just old friends and hardly can people nowadays find a real man. To elucidate more on this issue, people need to be familiar with majorities of people in order to improve their personality and develop their view of life. Another salient point in corroborating my stance is that new friends could have positive effects and provide fertile ground for people to mimic their behaviors. If we take a minute to ponder over it, in today' s hectic city of life, many new friends carry various hallmarks like veracity, fidelity, shrewd, diligent, and trustful and so forth. So, these characteristics are inspiring and stir up people to imitate different positive behaviors. It can be deduced from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that makes new friends not only can help us to become a self-sufficient person when it comes to different traits and features but also can help us enhance our social activities and socialize with various humans. However, every coin has two sides. New friends might not be able to take place of older ones. Indeed, not only are old friends familiar with our characteristics but also are more likely to help us when we run into huge problems and face trials and tribulations. Arguably, make new friends need a lot of time to get informed of many behaviors and traits, so, there is no guarantee new friends be in the same boat with us. However, it was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal stance. In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
All relationships require work. They do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
materialize and maintain themselves, and they are not built on a foundation of convenience either. They take time and patience and two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are willing to put in the effort. Various points of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
which are germane to the matter
being discussed
brings us to the moot question
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
individuals should stay with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
However
, the popular salient to which I
vehemently
cling is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should try to find more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is more advantageous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their personality. The following paragraphs will
aptly
substantiate my personal stance.

To commence with, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
play a crucial role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and being away from them could have deleterious effects on our relationships.
Broadly
speaking, there is nothing more vital to the bond we share with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
than
simply
being there for them. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are familiar with our traits and characters,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
life
differently
and broaden our horizon
extensively
. As a tangible example, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
attitudes and passions will provide an opportunity for individuals not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
life
intrinsically
. The startling fact which flabbergasted me is that majorities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inclined
toward the opinion that real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and hardly can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays find a real
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. To elucidate more on this issue,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to be familiar with majorities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their personality and develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
of life.

Another salient point in corroborating my stance is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects and provide fertile ground for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to mimic their behaviors. If we take a minute to ponder over it, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s hectic city of life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
carry various hallmarks like veracity, fidelity, shrewd, diligent, and trustful and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, these characteristics are inspiring and stir up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to imitate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
behaviors. It can
be deduced
from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us to become a self-sufficient person when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
traits and features
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us enhance our social activities and socialize with various humans.

However
, every coin has two sides.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
might not be able to take place of older ones.
Indeed
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
familiar with our characteristics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
are more likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us when we run into huge problems and face trials and tribulations.
Arguably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
informed of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
behaviors and traits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, there is no guarantee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
be in the same boat with us.
However
, it was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal stance.

In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay people should stay with their old friends than making new friends. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
492 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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