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Question: Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of this type of shopping outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Question: Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of this type of shopping outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
The purchase of items online via the internet is fast becoming a norm. People now buy several items ranging from air tickets, books, to clothes and groceries from online stores more often than they would from retail stores. While this shopping style may seem to be a technological advancement, it is not without its pros and cons. In my opinion, shopping this way has more benefits than it does drawbacks. One of the major advantages online shopping has is that buyers are able to source from vendors who have what they desire in stock, rather than being compelled to buy whatever a retail store displays on shelf. In other words, buying online opens them up to more varieties. For example, a woman who desires to buy a “Gucci” wristwatch can easily locate several vendors on the internet by typing “Gucci Wristwatch” in the search bar, rather than having to move from one retail shop to another looking for same. Other benefits include easy price comparison, time saving and convenience, as the shopper pays for and receives the goods within the comfort of his home. On the contrary, many people have had their fingers burnt shopping via the internet. One hurtful occurrence is “Scam”, as the shopper in most times pays to a seller he has never transacted business with. Online scams come up in various forms such as failure to deliver product, fake vendors, and delivery of fake or inferior goods. Scammers rob their victims of their hard earned money. Other disadvantages of online shopping include disappointment with delivery time, network problems that could delay completion of transactions and error in product delivery that may require time to be corrected. In summary, while shopping via the internet may be gaining more popularity and seem to be having some disadvantages such as Scams and disappointments, the advantages supersede the disadvantages because it’s easier and more convenient, offers shoppers more control and variety and allows for easy price comparison. , m
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of items
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
via the internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
becoming a norm.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
several items ranging from air tickets, books, to clothes and groceries from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than they would from retail stores. While this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
style may seem to be a technological advancement, it is not without its pros and cons. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
this way has more benefits than it does drawbacks.

One of the major advantages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has is that buyers are able to source from vendors who have what they desire in stock,
rather
than
being compelled
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
whatever a retail store displays on shelf.
In other words
, buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
opens them up to more varieties.
For example
, a woman who desires to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a “Gucci” wristwatch can
easily
locate several vendors on the internet by typing “Gucci Wristwatch” in the search bar,
rather
than having to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one retail shop to another looking for same. Other benefits include easy price comparison,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving and convenience, as the shopper pays for and receives the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
within the comfort of his home.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have had their fingers burnt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
via the internet. One hurtful occurrence is “Scam”, as the shopper in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
pays to a seller he has never transacted business with.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
scams
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up in various forms such as failure to deliver product, fake vendors, and delivery of fake or inferior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. Scammers rob their victims of their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hard earned
money. Other disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
include disappointment with delivery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, network problems that could delay completion of transactions and error in product delivery that may require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
be corrected
.

In summary, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
via the internet may be gaining more popularity and seem to be having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages such as Scams and disappointments, the advantages supersede the disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it’s easier and more convenient, offers shoppers more control and variety and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
for easy price comparison.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
m
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Question: Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of this type of shopping outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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