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Question- Buying tickets on the internet such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this outweigh the disadvantage v.1

Question- Buying tickets on the internet such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this outweigh the disadvantage v. 1
In recent years, online purchasing of items like air tickets, books and food has become more common. This trend has both positive and negative impacts which will be discussed in this essay. In my opinion, I believe that the merits definitely outweigh the demerits. On the one hand, disadvantages would be the false appearance of items. To elaborate, some items seem very appealing on the internet as compared to real life, thus causing inconvenience to the buyer. For example, a car might appear huge online whereas in reality it will be very small. Nonetheless, some customers might experience delays in deliveries of their desired goods due to shipping problems. Additionally, some perishable groceries such as potatoes and vegetables can not be bought online thus online shopping is limited to non-perishables. If the items are to be purchased physically, then these problems will not be encountered. On the other hand, internet shopping has got a myriad of advantages like a variety options, saving time as well as increased convenience. To clarify, online stores offer a variety of choices from shops around the globe, hence the shopper is not limited to only one shop as in physical buying. In addition, there is increased convenience as one can buy from the comfort of their own house. Moreover, online buying saves a substantial amount of time because there are no queues to stand in. For example, when buying an airplane ticket, one can do this faster because there is no delay in customer service. In conclusion, I believe that shopping online provides more advantages like variety of options, time saving and increased convenience, and these evidently surpass the disadvantages. However, the negatives should be considered before making a decision to buy from the internet.
In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
purchasing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
like air tickets, books and food has become more common. This trend has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts which will
be discussed
in this essay. In my opinion, I believe that the merits definitely outweigh the demerits.

On the one hand, disadvantages would be the false appearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. To elaborate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
seem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
appealing on the internet as compared to real life,
thus
causing inconvenience to the buyer.
For example
, a car might appear huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
whereas in reality it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
. Nonetheless,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
customers might experience delays in deliveries of their desired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
due to shipping problems.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
perishable groceries such as potatoes and vegetables can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping
is limited
to non-perishables. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
physically
, then these problems will not
be encountered
.

On the other hand
, internet shopping has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a myriad of advantages like a variety options, saving time
as well
as increased convenience. To clarify,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores offer a variety of choices from shops around the globe,
hence
the shopper is not limited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one shop as in physical buying.
In addition
, there
is increased
convenience as one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from the comfort of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
buying saves a substantial amount of time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are no queues to stand in.
For example
, when buying an airplane ticket, one can do this faster
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no delay in customer service.

In conclusion
, I believe that shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
provides more advantages like variety of options, time saving and increased convenience, and these
evidently
surpass the disadvantages.
However
, the negatives should
be considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from the internet.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Question- Buying tickets on the internet such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this outweigh the disadvantage v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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