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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. v.1

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Shopping via cyber space is not uncommon nowadays. ALTHOUGH, purchasing online is more convenient, some people take a lot of time to the markets, in order to get better look of goods, they buy. In my opinion its better to do shopping on net instead of wasting a lot of time in malls. In the today s world of advanced technology, it is now easy to get everything online. Because whatever you want is, just a click away from you. For example, you want to purchase monthly grocery for your home, you will just open a webpage, select the items and you will be served with the best, at your doorsteps. Another example is, if some one needs a book on urgent basis and he and she does not know from where to get that he can search on web and order online. Which will be less time consuming and you can save your energy to read a book. So, the greatest benefit of buying things on internet is that it is time saving and more convenient than roaming around in markets. The main disadvantage of going through malls for the household is that it requires a lot of time, in addition, mostly it is not a single person job. The main challenges people face, are they do not get everything under a single roof, they have to search a lot to find what they actually want. For instance, if someone gets a single off in a week and he goes out on roads for purchasing he will come home wasted and his whole day will be gifted to shopping malls. Therefore, it is a best idea to save time then wasting it. To conclude, acquiring items online is a common practice these days, the main advantage is, it is more suitable while, tiring yourself in markets is just a wastage of time. In my opinion purchasing things on net is beneficial than going out in search of stuff.
Shopping via cyber space is not uncommon nowadays. ALTHOUGH, purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is more convenient,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to the markets, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better look of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
. In my opinion its better to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go shopping".
do shopping
on net
instead
of wasting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in malls.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
s world of advanced technology, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
everything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
whatever you want is,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a click away from you.
For example
, you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
monthly grocery for your home, you will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
open a
Possible spelling mistake found.
webpage
, select the items and you will
be served
with the best, at your doorsteps. Another example is, if
Did you mean "someone"?
some one
needs a book on urgent
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
basis and
he and she does not know from where to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
that he can search on web and order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. Which will be less
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and you can save your energy to read a book.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the greatest benefit of buying things on internet is that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving and more convenient than roaming around in markets.

The main disadvantage of going through malls for the household is that it requires a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
in addition
,
mostly
it is not a single person job. The main challenges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
face, are they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
everything under a single roof, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
search a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
to find what they actually want.
For instance
, if someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a single off in a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
week and
he goes out on roads for purchasing he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home wasted and his whole day will
be gifted
to shopping malls.
Therefore
, it is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
then wasting it.

To conclude
, acquiring items
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is a common practice these days, the main advantage is, it is more suitable while, tiring yourself in markets is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In my opinion purchasing things on net is
Use "(beneficial)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
beneficial
than going out in search of stuff.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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