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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.4

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4
Internet shopping has become excessively demanding these days. This essay will discuss how online shopping is advantageous then its drawbacks. The two major advantages of shopping through internet are, it is very convenient and it benefits customers with wide range of offers. Firstly, buying goods online has enabled users to access variety of products that are not attainable in their locality, or buyers cannot reach supermarkets due lack of transportation. Online market has eased such problems by making things available at their doorstep just on a single click. For instance, people living in remote areas of Bangladesh often find it difficult to travel to city for groceries, but due to availability of mobile data it has become very easy for villagers to get items they want. Additionally, the business owners use different tactics to make their company famous by allowing discounts, seasonal offers, etc, which ultimately benefits the customers to enjoy reduction in price. One famous clothing website, ‘Shein’ allows 30% discount for new shoppers and 5% more on referring it to a friend, it also enables the users to enjoy free shipping over spent of AED 150. However, there are slight drawbacks like buyers often get tricked when shopping online, plus there are many hidden charges included. Since online shopping does not involve checking the product by touching it, many sly sellers often trick their consumers by selling the defective products. An example from my personal experience, when I got my new phone it worked for few months and it stopped working. The sellers’ could not fix it which ultimately resulted in losing my precious data and files. Secondly, there are many extra charges that burdens the customers, like cash on delivery cost, tax, shipping charges, etc. But all problems can be solved if government install strict rules and constant surveillance on trade practises. In conclusion, even though there are few disadvantages of internet marketing like cheating the buyers and unseen cost, but it also has some major benefits such as ease of purchase and discounts. Therefore, the advantages weigh more than the disadvantages.
Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has become
excessively
demanding these days. This essay will discuss how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is advantageous then its drawbacks.

The two major advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
through internet are, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient and it benefits customers with wide range of offers.
Firstly
, buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has enabled users to access variety of products that are not attainable in their locality, or buyers cannot reach supermarkets due lack of transportation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
market has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eased
such problems by making things available at their doorstep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
on a single click.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in remote areas of Bangladesh
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
find it difficult to travel to city for groceries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to availability of mobile data it has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy for villagers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
items they want.
Additionally
, the business owners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tactics to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
by allowing discounts, seasonal offers, etc, which
ultimately
benefits the customers to enjoy reduction in price. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
clothing website, ‘
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shein
’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
30% discount for new shoppers and 5% more on referring it to a friend, it
also
enables the users to enjoy free shipping over spent of AED 150.

However
, there are slight drawbacks like buyers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tricked when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, plus there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hidden charges included. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
does not involve checking the product by touching it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sly sellers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
trick their consumers by selling the defective products. An example from my personal experience, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
my new phone it worked for few months and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
working. The sellers’ could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
it which
ultimately
resulted in losing my precious data and files.
Secondly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
extra charges that burdens the customers, like cash on delivery cost, tax, shipping charges, etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
all problems can
be solved
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
install strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and constant surveillance on trade
Possible spelling mistake. 'practises' is British English.
practises
.

In conclusion
,
even though
there are few disadvantages of internet marketing like cheating the buyers and unseen cost,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major benefits such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and discounts.
Therefore
, the advantages weigh more than the disadvantages.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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