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Question: An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online? v.2

Question: An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online? v. 2
There is certainly a rise in number of people buying various products online. This offers many positives and negatives for the people involved in purchasing and companies involved in selling. From the consumer point of view, they have varied choices to buy from different websites by comparing products and price catalog online. This in turn offers them useful products at competitive price. Also they need not to have personally visit the shops to get the necessities which in turns save them valuable time. Moreover, the items are delivered at their door steps. On the other hand, companies benefits by buying directly from the market in turn saving them money. They pay for no brokerage costs to the intermediaries hence maximizing their profit. Also, selling online lets them targets wider base of population who are separated by social and demo graphical divide. As as far disadvantages are concerned to individuals sometimes the product differs in quality and durability which could be checked easily when buying item physically. Also, there are chances of online fraud while paying upfront. On the other side, seller face unnecessary hassles of people returning the items labeling them as defective or unsatisfactory after using them which incurs packing and transportation charges to the companies. Also, certain notorious elements review and rate their products low which affects the image of the seller. To conclude, I must say that all in all it is a win-win situation for both individuals and companies and we will see an up-rise in trend in years to come.
There is
certainly
a rise in number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
buying various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. This offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
positives and negatives for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
involved in purchasing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
involved in selling.

From the consumer point of view, they have varied choices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
websites by comparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and price catalog
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. This in turn offers them useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
at competitive price.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
they need not
Did you mean "have"?
to have
personally
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "visited".
visit
the shops to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the necessities which in turns save them valuable time.
Moreover
, the items
are delivered
at their door steps.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
benefits by buying
directly
from the market in turn saving them money. They pay for no brokerage costs to the intermediaries
hence
maximizing their profit.
Also
, selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
them targets wider base of population who
are separated
by social and demo graphical divide.

Possible typo: you repeated a word
As as
far disadvantages
are concerned
to individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
differs in quality and durability which could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
easily
when buying item
physically
.
Also
, there are chances of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
fraud while paying upfront. On the other side, seller face unnecessary hassles of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
returning the items labeling them as defective or unsatisfactory after using them which incurs packing and transportation charges to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
Also
, certain notorious elements review and rate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
low which affects the image of the seller.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say that all in all it is a win-win situation for both individuals and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
companies and
we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an up-rise in trend in years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Question: An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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