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Some people think a crime should always havea fixed punishment, like life for murder, whereas others think you should take thecircumstances of the crime into account. Whatis your viewpoint v.2

Some people think a crime should always havea fixed punishment, like life for murder, whereas others think you should take thecircumstances of the crime into account. Whatis your viewpoint v. 2
It is irrefutable that crime level has elevated drastically these days, therefore, it is widely agreed that the best solutions to address such a serious issue by offering a fixed punishment for each type of crime. However, it is argued that the reasons behind any crime should be considered, thus, punishment should be more flexible. This essay aims to examine both views before coming to a conclusion. It is generally believed that fixed punishment plays a crucial role in alleviating crime level globally. First of all, criminals who are intending to commit a certain crime for any reason will change their mind if they know the subsequent actions against them afterwards. For example, Saudi Arabia has a very low crime index among other advanced nations. Since, they impose and execute very tough punishments such as a death penalty for murders, and drugs smuggling, and life sentence for robberies. Therefore, crime rate is considered extremely low compared with other nations which have no fixed penalties. On the flip side, it is often pointed out that there are several factors might stand behind any major crime and, therefore, it should be accounted during trials. Firstly, It is very important to investigate the motivations before applying penalties, to ensure a high level of justice. For instance, punishments such as death penalties, and life sentence for murders should be investigated in a high manner as many cases might be self-defense cases against robberies, murders or anyone who is trying to kill people. Secondly, with the aim of reducing the crime level, judges should investigate more about the motivations and reasons that participate in making crime, in order to find a good solutions to address them properly. For example, numerous crimes in several countries have attributed to the poverty, low level of education and other critical factors, so, tackle the core of problem will help to reduce crime. To sum up, I am in a favor of having a flexible penalties as it provides a high level of justice for all people, since, some crimes might be considered as a self-defense, so that, it is injustice at all to be treated as murders.
It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
has elevated
drastically
these days,
therefore
, it is
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that the best solutions to address such a serious issue by offering a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for each type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
However
, it
is argued
that the reasons behind any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should
be considered
,
thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should be more flexible. This essay aims to examine both views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming to a conclusion.

It is
generally
believed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
plays a crucial role in alleviating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
globally.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, criminals who are intending to commit a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
for any reason will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their mind if they know the subsequent actions against them afterwards.
For example
, Saudi Arabia has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
index among other advanced nations. Since, they impose and execute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
such as a death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murders
, and drugs smuggling, and life sentence for robberies.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate
is considered
extremely
low compared with other nations which have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
penalties.

On the flip side, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
pointed out that there are several factors might stand behind any major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and,
therefore
, it should
be accounted
during trials.
Firstly
, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to investigate the motivations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
applying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
, to ensure a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of justice.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
such as death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
, and life sentence for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murders
should
be investigated
Consider replacing "in a high manner" with the adverb for "high"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a high manner
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases might be self-defense cases against robberies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murders
or anyone who is trying to kill
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Secondly
, with the aim of reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
, judges should investigate more about the motivations and reasons that participate in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, in order to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "solution"?
solutions
to address them
properly
.
For example
, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in several countries have attributed to the poverty, low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of education and other critical factors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, tackle the core of problem will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
crime.

To sum up, I am in a favor of having a flexible
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "penalty"?
penalties
as it provides a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of justice for all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, since,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
might
be considered
as a self-defense,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, it is injustice at all to
be treated
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
murders
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think a crime should always havea fixed punishment, like life for murder, whereas others think you should take thecircumstances of the crime into account. Whatis your viewpoint v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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