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q6. Using examples and points from the talk explain how learning art can impact a child's development. v.1

q6. Using examples and points from the talk explain how learning art can impact a child's development. v. 1
It is a very popular choice in the modern society to order ready-made food from the restaurant rather than cooking at home There are several reasons and major reasons are, cheap prices from restaurant and easy availability as it saves time from not cooking at home. There are certain advantages of such tendency, but the disadvantages should not be underestimated. On the one hand, Ordering food is very easy process and nowadays there are a number of apps available on mobile phones. Moreover, lots of restaurants give promo code for marketing and that makes the food cost so cheap. Besides this, cooking food at home requires huge amount of time, effort and resources. For example cooking rice with vegetables require significant effort to cut vegetables and water and electricity or gas. Not only resources are utilised in cooking, but after food preparation, cleaning the complete place, and utensils are also huge task itself. On the other hand, each restaurant has a different process of cooking and it is not necessary that is completely healthy. It is well known that restaurants use chemicals, artificial colours and spices to make food look delicious and tasty. Also, home cooked food is most of the time heavy in nutritions and eventually it will lead to health benefits. Even though restaurant foods are delicious, home baked food has emotional value. To put this in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, although ordering food from the restaurant is tempted choice for busy or lazy people, but this approach has critical disadvantages of unhealthy food or not being informed about ingredients, which can be destructive in the long run for health.
It is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular choice in the modern society to order ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
rather
than cooking at home There are several reasons and major reasons are,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
prices from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
and easy availability as it saves time from not cooking at home. There are certain advantages of such tendency,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the disadvantages should not
be underestimated
.

On the one hand, Ordering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy process and nowadays there are a number of apps available on mobile phones.
Moreover
, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
give promo code for marketing and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
.
Besides
this, cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home requires huge amount of time, effort and resources.
For example
cooking rice with vegetables require significant effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
vegetables and water and electricity or gas. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
resources are
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
in cooking,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
preparation, cleaning the complete place, and utensils are
also
huge task itself.

On the other hand
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
process of cooking and it is not necessary
that is
completely healthy. It is well known that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
chemicals, artificial
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
and spices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
look delicious and tasty.
Also
, home cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is most of the time heavy in
Possible spelling mistake found.
nutritions
and
eventually
it will lead to health benefits.
Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are delicious, home baked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has emotional value.

To put this in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, although ordering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
is tempted
choice for busy or lazy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this approach has critical disadvantages of unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or not
being informed
about ingredients, which can be destructive in the long run for health.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay q6. Using examples and points from the talk explain how learning art can impact a child's development. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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