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Question 5 - Briefly summarize the problem the speakers are discussing. Then state which of the two solutions from the conversation you would recommend. Explain the reasons for your recommendation. v.1

Question 5 - Briefly summarize the problem the speakers are discussing. Then state which of the two solutions from the conversation you would recommend. Explain the reasons for your recommendation. v. 1
Some schools value volunteer activities in the community where their students belong to. However, although while some people believe that the benevolent activities should not be mandatory for high school students, I believe that there are a lot of meaningful experiences that students can have from the community and it should be compulsory. To begin with, working in the community where young students live can teach them how to cohabit with people who are from different generations. In fact, high school students often have less time to communicate with people from different age groups. Activities, such as providing food for homeless people would broaden their understandings towards the vulnerable groups in the society. Although I acknowledge that opponents of compulsory charity activities claim that young generations are usually too overloaded academically to help the community, they can learn things that school teachers do not teach them in classes. Secondary, unpaid mandatory services in the community give beneficial experiences to young people that they cannot buy with money. Working for a charity, for example, can develop their communication skills and how to respect the neighbours. Even though some people say that youngsters can learn that skill by working as a part time job, but it is not an ideal situation to learn the volunteer spirit. Finally, my most strongest argue is that minors tend not to commit delinquents while they feel that they are one of the members of the community. The more young people are known in the community, the less likely they commit crimes, which deter children from anti-social activities, such as drug abuse, alcohol use or crimes. To sum up, not only volunteer works can broaden students' knowledge about their society, they can also help young people learn how to interact with people in the community. Therefore, I strongly believe that high school students need to be engaged in unpaid community service.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
value volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
where their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
belong to.
However
, although while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the benevolent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
should not be mandatory for high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, I believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
meaningful experiences that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can have from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and it should be compulsory.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, working in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
can teach them how to cohabit with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations. In fact, high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have less time to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Activities
, such as providing food for homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would broaden their understandings towards the vulnerable groups in the society. Although I acknowledge that opponents of compulsory charity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations are
usually
too overloaded
academically
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
teachers do not teach them in classes.

Secondary, unpaid mandatory services in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
give beneficial experiences to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
with money. Working for a charity,
for example
, can develop their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and how to respect the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that youngsters can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
by working as a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
job,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not an ideal situation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the volunteer spirit.

Finally
, my
Use only "strongest" (without 'most') when you use the superlative.
most strongest
argue is that minors tend not to commit delinquents while they feel that they are one of the members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are known
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, the less likely they commit crimes, which deter children from anti-social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, such as drug abuse, alcohol
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
or crimes.

To sum up, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
volunteer works can broaden students' knowledge about their society, they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
Therefore
, I
strongly
believe that high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to
be engaged
in unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
service.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Question 5 - Briefly summarize the problem the speakers are discussing. Then state which of the two solutions from the conversation you would recommend. Explain the reasons for your recommendation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
314 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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