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Briefly summarize the problem the speakers are discussing. Then state which of the two solutions from the conversation you would recommend. Explain the reasons for your recommendation. v.3

Briefly summarize the problem the speakers are discussing. Then state which of the two solutions from the conversation you would recommend. Explain the reasons for your recommendation. v. 3
It is noticed, that an increasing number of individuals spend fewer hours away from their houses. This could be due to more hours spent at work. This trend, if left unchecked, could negatively impact the health of people and the community at large. Many people spend less time away from home because the basic work hours have increased as opposed to a few years ago. This is not the same as overtime. This could be as a result of increased demand for goods and services, or the recent economic downturn which has led to people working overtime to meet their basic needs. For example, the average civil servant works two hours extra before closing, unlike five years ago. In spite of the extra hours, there is no increase in wage. This, therefore, results in people spending extra time working away from home. In the long run, the effects of spending Lesser time at him becomes apparent to people and society at large. One of such effects is reduced sleep. This results in reduced productivity in the workplace. People who sleep less are more likely to make poor judgments and costly mistakes. For example, a person who sleeps for three or four hours is likely to come to work tired and irritable, he or she is also likely to fall ill more often. There has been increasing cases of motor accidents, and traffic congestion caused by drivers found to be sleeping at the wheel. Furthermore, sleeping less reduces the economic growth of society because of poorer decisions and more hospital time for its members. In conclusion, People are spending less time in their homes. This could be as a result of more working hours. The result of this trend is people getting less of the necessary sleep they need to function in their best capacity as an individual and reducing the quality of their contributions to the community at large.
It
is noticed
, that an increasing number of individuals spend fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
away from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. This could be due to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
spent at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This trend, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
unchecked, could
negatively
impact the health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the community at large.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
away from home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
have increased as opposed to a few years ago. This is not the same as overtime. This could be as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of increased demand for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services, or the recent economic downturn which has led to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working overtime to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their basic needs.
For example
, the average civil servant works two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
extra
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
closing, unlike five years ago.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, there is no increase in wage. This,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spending extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
working away from home.

In the long run, the effects of spending

Lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at him becomes apparent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and society at large. One of such effects is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
productivity in the workplace.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
poor judgments and costly mistakes.
For example
, a person who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleeps
for three or four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
tired and irritable, he or she is
also
likely to fall ill more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
. There has been increasing cases of motor accidents, and traffic congestion caused by drivers found to be sleeping at the wheel.
Furthermore
, sleeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the economic growth of society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of poorer decisions and more hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for its members.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in their homes. This could be as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of more working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of this trend is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
of the necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
they need to function in their best capacity as an individual and reducing the quality of their contributions to the community at large.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Briefly summarize the problem the speakers are discussing. Then state which of the two solutions from the conversation you would recommend. Explain the reasons for your recommendation. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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