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Question 5 Award ceremony vs biology exam. The speakers discuss two possible solutions to the woman's problem. Briefly summarize the problem. Then state which of the solutions you recommend and explain why. v.1

Question 5 Award ceremony vs biology exam. The speakers discuss two possible solutions to the woman's problem. Briefly summarize the problem. Then state which of the solutions you recommend and explain why. v. 1
It is believed by many that children during their tertiary education must learn concepts such as money management since it is one essential skill for life. In my opinion, I agree to this due to the fact that the understanding of such concept shall help the student in spending the money judiciously. To initiate, managing wealth in an appropriate manner is a skill which ought to be imbibed in children at an early stage of their lives. This way, they can learn that money does not grow on trees. Additionally, students can maintain an account of their expenses and savings and boost their confidence from within. In the long run, this will help them manifold. For example, If a person learns to manage savings right from school, he will lead a more comfortable life when he starts earning and can provide for his family without any pressure. To augment, learning about efficient utilization of wealth in secondary education leads to mirroring situations that children shall face at a later stage in life. For instance, when an individual starts earning money, he will be able to manage this income in an efficient manner as he would have prior knowledge about the effective consumption of the same. Therefore, it becomes vital for him to have an understanding of money management right from his high school. In conclusion, it is appropriate to say that learning about judicious usage of money is a crucial aspect of life and hence must be taught to children in their tertiary education.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
during their tertiary education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn concepts such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
management since it is one essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this due to the fact that the understanding of such concept shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the student in spending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
judiciously
.

To initiate, managing wealth
Consider replacing "in an appropriate manner" with the adverb for "appropriate"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an appropriate manner
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
which ought to
be imbibed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at an early stage of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This way, they can learn that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
does not grow on trees.
Additionally
, students can maintain an account of their expenses and savings and boost their confidence from within. In the long run, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them manifold.
For example
, If a person learns to manage savings right from school, he will lead a more comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
earning and can provide for his family without any pressure.

To augment, learning about efficient utilization of wealth in secondary education leads to mirroring situations that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
shall face at a later stage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, when an individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, he will be able to manage this income
Consider replacing "in an efficient manner" with the adverb for "efficient"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an efficient manner
as he would have prior knowledge about the effective consumption of the same.
Therefore
, it becomes vital for him to have an understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
management right from his high school.

In conclusion
, it is appropriate to say that learning about judicious usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is a crucial aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
hence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in their tertiary education.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Question 5 Award ceremony vs biology exam. The speakers discuss two possible solutions to the woman's problem. Briefly summarize the problem. Then state which of the solutions you recommend and explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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