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The qualities and skills that a person requires to became successful in today's world cannot be learned at a university or any other academic institution to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Qualities a person needs to be successful can’t be learnt in university or in similar academic institution. v. 3
In the midst of a technology driven global world, the ability to gain success is a real threat to many people. Nowadays the importance of academic knowledge for development of human skills are questioned. In my opinion, better education can improve the performance of people in distinct situations. On the one hand, education has a significant role in the moulding of viable skills and aptitude for individuals in today's advanced society. Firstly, people can achieve theoretical knowledge about the subjects which emphasize their caliber in the work field. For instance, an educated entrepreneur can apply various marketing strategies to develop his business. Secondly, education gives the ability to make practical decisions to overcome many hurdles without loss of self-esteem in troublesome situations of life. Finally, many employers are likely to have graduated students for their cooperation which depicts the need for education in today's world. On the other hand, to transcend education, there are certain qualities needed to succeed in life. Primarily, the ability to indulge with people is a fundamental factor which cannot gain through an educational degree. For example, a highly qualified employee is less productive at work due to introverted character, which hardly affects the production and profit of the company. secondly, the life experiences make the individual technically compatible in menace rather than professionals. To illustrate this, older people are more capable in decision making in difficult situations than an adult with less life experience and more theoretical knowledge. In conclusion, since birth to death human beings are developing their knowledge through different platforms. There are many skills achieved through lifetime. However, the importance of education in people's life is crucial in this developing global world.
In the midst of a technology driven global world, the ability to gain success is a real threat to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Nowadays the importance of academic knowledge for development of human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are questioned
. In my opinion, better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in distinct situations.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has a significant role in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
of viable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and aptitude for individuals in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's advanced society.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can achieve theoretical knowledge about the subjects which emphasize their caliber in the work field.
For instance
, an educated entrepreneur can apply various marketing strategies to develop his business.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
gives the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
practical decisions to overcome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hurdles without loss of self-esteem in troublesome situations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employers are likely to have graduated students for their cooperation which depicts the need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world.

On the other hand
, to transcend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, there are certain qualities needed to succeed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Primarily
, the ability to indulge with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
a fundamental factor which cannot gain through an educational degree.
For example
, a
highly
qualified employee is less productive at work due to introverted character, which hardly affects the production and profit of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experiences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the individual
technically
compatible in menace
rather
than professionals. To illustrate this, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more capable in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
in difficult situations than an adult with less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experience and more theoretical knowledge.

In conclusion
, since birth to death human beings are developing their knowledge through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
platforms. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
achieved through lifetime.
However
, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is crucial in this developing global world.
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As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay The qualities and skills that a person requires to became successful in today's world cannot be learned at a university or any other academic institution

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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