Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? v.29

In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? v. 29
There is no doubt that in some places of the United States has a curfew policy, where young children are not allowed to go out at a certain time of midnight without parents or caregivers' company. I agree with this opinion. Firstly, from the perspective of safety that this policy will protect teenagers from dangers. Most teenagers are not mature, so they cannot judge any situations, whether safe or unsafe. For example, some drugs are sold illegally at nightclubs. There is a potential chance that those drugs can be sold to these teenagers who may be curious. If they take it which may cause health problems and then affect their studies and even their whole life. In addition, most crimes happen at nighttime because the dark can hide their actions. Also, they often choose an individual as their target. If the young child goes out at midnight, especially at late midnight, they are very easy as the target of criminals. However, it would be unrealistic to ban teenagers from going out at midnight altogether. Sometimes, they have an after school study that they need to complete, things like piano class or math class. Those extra studies sometimes need to take part in at midnight due to teachers’ schedule. In this case, it is preferably with the parent company or someone in the family to go with them. Doing so can effectively protect the safety of children and also ensure their studies. Moreover, on the emotional side, the companionship of a parent can enhance the relationship with their children. This company will make their children feel safer. In conclusion, I totally agree with that some areas have to keep curfew. Only by doing so, can we have a safe environment for our children.
There is no doubt that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places of the United States has a curfew policy, where young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go out at a certain time of midnight without parents or caregivers'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.

Firstly
, from the perspective of safety that this policy will protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are not mature,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they cannot judge any situations, whether safe or unsafe.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drugs
are sold
illegally
at nightclubs. There is a potential chance that those drugs can
be sold
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
who may be curious. If they take it which may cause health problems and then affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and even their whole life.
In addition
, most crimes happen at nighttime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the dark can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
their actions.
Also
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
choose an individual as their target. If the young child goes out at midnight,
especially
at late midnight, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy as the target of criminals.

However
, it would be unrealistic to ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
from going out at midnight altogether.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, they have an after school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
that they need to complete, things like piano
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or math
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. Those extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in at midnight due to teachers’ schedule.
In this case
, it is
preferably
with the parent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or someone in the family to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
them. Doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
can
effectively
protect the safety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
also
ensure their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
Moreover
, on the emotional side, the companionship of a parent can enhance the relationship with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel safer.

In conclusion
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
curfew.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, can we have a safe environment for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? v. 29

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts