Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people believe that university students should study a full range of subjects instead of some specific subjects To what extent do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint v.2

Many people believe that university students should study a full range of subjects instead of some specific subjects with this viewpoint v. 2
Many local businesses are impacted due to the arrival of supermarkets in many developed and developing countries. People believe that these kind of establishment will kill the local communities. In this essay, I will discuss about the reasons for the existence of such markets and how it impacts other local vendors in the society. Firstly, such markets exists on a large scale in the metro cities where it is densely populated. Due to the massive development in technology in many countries, people tend to migrate from their native for a better lifestyle and this results in overcrowding. Shop owners tend to open or expand their stores in such areas where they can achieve high profits in a short time. Secondly, these shops will sell their products at a higher margin, which might not be affordable to many consumers in the community. Despite these cost differences, many customers are attracted due to the convenience it offers in choosing a product. Mostly all supermarkets and hypermarkets these days accept digital payments which is another benefit for people looking for a quick checkout. Local owners are finding it very difficult to compete with them due to various aspects such as ignorance in technology, financial limitations, rising living standards etc. . . On the other hand, suppliers are benefitting from these large markets where they can supply more products which can yield good returns. Most of the local business are occupying the rental premises and due to the increasing demands in rent, they are facing issues in expanding their stores to include more products. Thus, people prefer going to one store where they can buy most of their items. Such shopping comfort will definitely destroy the local vendors. To conclude, the government should take proper measure to regulate these supermarkets in terms of size, cost and expansion. I firmly believe that overcrowding is the major cause for the growth of these markets. Companies and industries should be widely distributed across the nation to facilitate the growth of local business.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businesses
are impacted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the arrival of supermarkets in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
believe that
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of establishment will kill the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities. In this essay, I will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
reasons for the existence of such markets and how it impacts other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
vendors in the society.

Firstly
, such markets exists on a large scale in the metro cities where it is
densely
populated.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to the massive development in technology in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to migrate from their native for a better lifestyle and this results in overcrowding. Shop owners tend to open or expand their stores in such areas where they can achieve high profits in a short time.
Secondly
, these shops will sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
at a higher margin, which might not be affordable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consumers in the community. Despite these cost differences,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
customers
are attracted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the convenience it offers in choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Mostly
all supermarkets and hypermarkets these days accept digital payments which is another benefit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
looking for a quick checkout.

Local owners are finding it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to compete with them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to various aspects such as ignorance in technology, financial limitations, rising living standards etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
On the other hand
, suppliers are
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitting
from these large markets where they can supply more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which can yield
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
returns. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
business are occupying the rental premises and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the increasing demands in rent, they are facing issues in expanding their stores to include more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer going to one store where they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
most of their items. Such shopping comfort will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
vendors.

To conclude
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take proper measure to regulate these supermarkets in terms of size, cost and expansion. I
firmly
believe that overcrowding is the major cause for the growth of these markets.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
and industries should be
widely
distributed across the nation to facilitate the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
business.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that university students should study a full range of subjects instead of some specific subjects with this viewpoint v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts